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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22806607">It It What It Is~ Larry Stylinson</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnBrooks6705/pseuds/AutumnBrooks6705'>AutumnBrooks6705</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bottom Louis Tomlinson, Dark, Drug Use, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Loss of Virginity, Sexual Tension, Top Harry Styles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:20:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>38,332</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22806607</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnBrooks6705/pseuds/AutumnBrooks6705</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Um can I have a Heineken zero please" said a deep sexy voice that made goosebumps erupt all over my skin instantly. I look over to see the most drop dead gorgeous human being to ever grace the planet, standing about a meter away from me leaning against the bar while and fiddling with one of the many rings on his fingers.  Soft chocolate curls styled in a quiff, deep forest green eyes, smooth olive skin decorated in a multitude of various tattoos and his lips ...... Jesus Christ his lips---</p><p>Louis Tomlinson is 17 years old student who attends Hall Cross Acadamy, Doncaster. He gets good grades but isn't very social, his only friend Liam Payne convinces him to go to a club to get him to make new friends. That's where he meets Harry Styles and his whole life changes.</p><p>Harry Styles is a 17 year old drop out, he's your typical bad boy, tattoos, very, very social but not so good at staying in school. He lives with his best friends Niall Horan, Zayn Malik and Perrie Edwards. Niall begs Harry to drive them to and from a club one night and Harry reluctantly agrees. That's where he meets Louis Tomlinson and his whole life changes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne/Danielle Peazer, Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles, Perrie Edwards/Zayn Malik, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Quick Authors note</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hi!!</p><p> </p><p>I know that no one is going to read this story, but I had a really good time writing it and I hope that if anyone ever does stumble across it they enjoy it too!</p><p>If there is any typos or grammar mistakes let me know!</p><p>Without further ado this is-<br/>It Is What It Is~ Larry Stylinson ;)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. It Is What It Is Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Louis' POV</p><p>It started just like any other day, with the sun rising.</p><p>Whenever anything extraordinary happens to anyone, they've always started that day with the sun peeking through their curtains and the weight of the day that awaits heavy on their sleep clouded minds.</p><p>Whether it's a near-death experience or meeting the person you want to spend the rest of your life with – it all starts with the sun rising, alarm clocks ringing and getting out from under the covers.</p><p>So dull. So ordinary.</p><p>The day my life changed was no different.</p><p>I lay in my single bed, under my duvet, looking at the beam of light sneaking between my curtains and casting itself upon my legs.</p><p>It was Saturday and I had nothing to get up for. I drew the curtains back, letting the rest of the light invade every corner of my room. I then pulled myself onto the window sill, curled my legs under me and looked outside.</p><p>My name is Louis Tomlinson. I am 17 years old. I lived in a small terraced house in Doncaster, I have 5 sisters and 1 brother. I have mousey brown hair and blue eyes. Pretty average you must be thinking and you would be right. But that's just how I like it.</p><p>I jump down off the window ledge and headed to the bathroom. "Today will be a good day" I thought as I stripped off and jumped in the shower letting the warm water relax me even more as I sang and danced around in the shower singing 'send me on my way by Rusted Root' my Saturday morning ritual.</p><p>I emerged from the shower nice and clean and smelling of my  l'Oreal strawberry shampoo. I dove onto my bed and stared at the ceiling, I had stuck constellation stickers on it when I went through my space faze a few years ago. My favorite constellation is Cygnus, which means Swan. It was named after a beautiful Spartan queen birthed two sets of twins. Eventually, in the form of a swan, another god seduced the queen. Finally, the two immortal twins, Castor and Pollux are fathered by the god. Together they created the Gemini constellation. I always admired the queen's strength as my mother also had two sets of twins and raised them single handedly to be the strong amazing people they are today.</p><p>I finally got off my bed and got dressed whistling as I walked down the stairs. I could smell bacon! I started to run down the stairs when I saw my sister Lottie reaching for the last bit of bacon. "LOTTIE FIZZY'S STEALING YOUR LIPGLOSS" I screamed. Lottie was up in an instant tearing down the hall up the stairs yelling at poor fizzy who was still sound asleep in her bed.</p><p> 'Oops?' i thought to myself as I grabbed the last bacon piece and started to wolf it down in case Lottie came back plotting her revenge. I finished smacking my lips together and rubbing my stomach I hurried out the door saying a quick goodbye to my mum on the way.</p><p>I met up with my friend Liam. We had been friends since I was 5 and he was 6. We had kind of a none affectionate friendship mainly due to the fact I was gay, and even though Liam had been 110% supportive I kind of get the feeling he thinks I fancy him even though the only people I've ever fancied was the likes of young Leanardo Dicaprio or something like that.</p><p> </p><p>"So I was wondering if you would come out with Danielle and I tonight?" Liam asked. I smile at him before saying "In case you haven't noticed Liam I've already come out" I chuckled at my own joke. "I'm serious Lou!" he says shaking his head, "You never go out and you never spend time with anyone besides me! You need more friends Lou!".  I sighed "Fine but your buying the drinks" </p><p>Why does no one I know ever laugh at my gay jokes? and now I had to go to some stupid club and socialize with people I didn't even want to know!</p><p>By the time I had said goodbye to Liam and walked back home I had decided that it was probably better to just make the best of a shitty situation and try and have a good time.</p><p>I opened the door and walked into my room to find my mum putting the clothes I had thrown all over the floor this morning into my wardrobe. "Hey mum" I said smiling. "Don't 'Hey mum' me Mister Tomlinson I've spent the past 30 mins cleaning up after you" </p><p>I walked over to give her a hug "Sorry mum I went out early to play some footie with Liam, oh also he asked me to go to a club with Danielle and him tonight" I prayed she would say no but just to my luck- "Of course boo bear it'll be great for you to socialize with other people your age, you are 17 and your only friend is Liam, it would be great for you to meet new people! Just make sure your responsible  and please be careful OK boo?" I sighed but nodded my head, "I will mum, I'm gonna get ready" smiling my mum pinched my cheek and said "OK then sweetie, have fun"</p><p>I showered once again and changed into a pair of red jeans with suspenders, a stripy white and black top and red converse. I looked at myself in the mirror 'Meh it will do' I thought just as I heard the doorbell ring and my mum calling me telling me that it was time to go. With one last glance in the mirror I set off unsure of what awaited me.</p><p> </p><p>"What's the worst that could happen?" I thought to myself as I ran to meet Liam and Danielle who were waiting at the door.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. It Is What It Is Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry's POV</p><p>It started just like any other day.  The stupid sun shining through the half closed curtains and blinding me.</p><p>"UGH" I groaned as I sat up, my head was pounding. </p><p> WTF happened last night? </p><p>"Morning" someone croaked.<br/>  I looked over to the right side of the bed to see some random girl rubbing her eyes and ruffling her dark hair. Why do I always do this?  </p><p>I don't even know her name for gods sake! I really have to stop doing this it's getting ridiculous- "Where are my clothes?" I was interrupted from my thoughts by the girl, only this time she was in the middle of my room looking for her clothes. I glanced around the room "By the dresser" I replied sleepily rubbing my eyes. "Thanks, uh what's your name?" she asked looking embarrassed. I sighed with relief, at least I wasn't the only one. "Oh my names Harry, what's yours?" she laughed, relief flooding her average features "I'm  Kendall, thanks for last night I don't remember what happened yet but I'm sure it was great" I laughed at least it wasn't awkward, well that awkward. "Well it was nice meeting you Harry" she giggled "I'll see you around" I smiled back "Yeah lovely meeting you too".</p><p>I wandered into the kitchen. 2:00 pm, Jesus how much did I drink last night. I sat down to take some Aisprin as the memories from the night before started to flood my mind. I went on Instagram and twitter to look at the pictures, nothing too interesting.<br/>I put my head down against the counter waiting for the medicine to work its magic.</p><p>A load bang woke me up as I whipped my head around to see Niall my roommate slamming the door shut. "Mate you look wrecked! Was that Kendall girl any good?" Niall was blabbering a thousand sentences a minute and my hungover brain was struggling to catch up.</p><p> "Go away Niall, just because you don't have a hangover does not mean I don't have one" Niall laughed "Oh right sorry. Zayn really brought out the good stuff last night I don't know how he gets his hands on it, it was Chemdawg for fucks sake!" I ignored him as I got up to go take a shower.</p><p>I got undressed and hopped in the shower letting the steaming hot water wash away the night before. I always like my showers boiling hot so when I get out I feel all toasty and warm, I hate getting out of the shower and freezing my ass off and running to find my clothes. I threw on some grey sweats that hung dangerously low on my hips not bothering with as shirt as I put on a pair socks and ruffled my wet curls with a towel.</p><p>I padded down the hall and plopped on the couch taking the roll Niall handed me when I walked in and lighting it. "Zayn, Perrie and I are going to a club tonight you wanna join, we need someone to stay sober so we can get home" Niall asked breathing out a puff of smoke.</p><p> "Fine but only because I'm too tired to argue with you right now" I said inhaling the smoke as I felt myself slowly start to relax. "Great thanks Haz, we have to be there at 7pm" my only response was a grunt as I put out my cigarette and headed to my room for a nap.</p><p>A few hours later I woke up to my phone ringing. It was just my friend Luke asking if I got home OK last night. After talking to him for a few minutes I hung up and pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans and a fitted v-neck white top. I ruffled my curly hair and checked it looked at least semi OK. I styled it in a quiff and strolled down the hall, feeling much better than this morning.</p><p>Tonight would be OK. Whats the worst that could happen? I thought to myself as I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. It Is What It Is Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry's POV</p><p>We ended up getting to the club later then planned because Perrie wasn't finished doing her makeup, or at least that's what Zayn says. Perry claims it was because he took so long on his hair. Personally I believe Perry. Zayn always takes about 50 years on his hair.</p><p> </p><p>When we finally arrived the bouncer let is in without a second glance, he was always more likely to let you in the later you arrived, probably because he just wanted his shift out of the way and he wasn't in the humor of arguing with us.</p><p>Once we were in Zayn dragged me onto the dance floor, the song was slow and sensual and i felt Zayn grab me by the hips and start grinding against me to the rhythm of the song. I could feel his hot breath against my neck, one hand in my hair and the other resting on my stomach, I moved against him enjoying the friction. I loved this feeling. I felt him rub my shoulder as the song came to a close, before he disappeared into the crowd probably in search of a new fuck for the night.</p><p>  Zayn and I are kind of like friends with befits kind of thing, he has a crush on Perry, but he won't admit it. We've been best mates since we were 14 and theirs no feelings there so we take advantage of each other. It started when we were 15 and its been on and off ever since. We've both had our fair share of relationships but neither of us like to be tied down for too long.</p><p>"HARRAH MATE" Niall yelled coming over and wrapping his arm around my neck and pulling me towards him. "Niall" I said with a laugh. He was just on the verge of being drunk and drunk Niall is the best kinda Niall. "I'm gonna get a drink, okay? I'll catch you later"</p><p> </p><p>I walked over to the bar to order. "Um can I have a Heineken zero please" I ask, I'm asking for an alcohol free drink at a bar, sad right?  "A Heineken zero" the barman asked giving me a strange look. I blushed embarrassed "Uh yeahh"</p><p>"I'm driving". The barman nodded and went off to get my drink. I leaned against the counter fiddling with my rings while I waited, it was a nervous habit.  I felt someone staring at me, but when I turned around no one was there, I thought  nothing more of it as I paid the barman and headed back towards Niall, Zayn and Perry.</p><p> </p><p>A few hours later Zayn and I were dancing when he said he needed the bathroom, which meant he was going to go fuck someone in the loo, and I was not drunk enough to join him tonight.</p><p> I waved him off and as he disappeared into the crowd. When suddenly someone or something crashed into me at full force. I turned around and saw a very drunk man struggling to not spill his drink and trying his best to stay vertical. I grabbed onto his waist and hoisted him up being careful not to drop him. In the process I ended up completely soaked in what smelled like vodka and coke. I was more concerned for the man though who was trying his best to stand by himself. </p><p>"Oops!" he said looking up at me, he was about 1 foot shorter than I was, with piercing blue eyes and light feathery brown hair. Even in his drunken state I could without a doubt say he was the most beautiful person I had ever seen.</p><p>"Hi" I said with a smile. "Hey gorgeous" he slurred, "Hello to you too" I grinned, "What's your name" he said with a hiccup "I'm Harry, Harry Styles" he beamed at me "I'm Louis, Louis Tomlinson" he said proudly. I had heard that name before I think. My mate Liam has mentioned him before, I glanced around and saw Liam chatting to a girl. I had to drag Louis over as he was finding it hard to walk himself .</p><p>"Hey Liam do you know this guy?" I ask. He glanced up and a shocked expression spread across his face. "Lou?!" "LIMA" Louis screamed, scaring the crap out of me. "Jesus, this is like the second time he's drank ever and he's gets shit faced, just typical!" Liam said with a sigh looking towards Danielle sadly " Come on Lou Lou lets get you home" Louis was almost asleep on my shoulder and looking at him I got the sudden urge that i had to protect this small adorable boy at all costs. " I can bring him back to mine and Niall's if you want so his parents don't find out?" I offered. Liam smiled "Would you?" he asked hopeful and i could tell he really didn't wanna leave Danielle yet. "Yes, of course any friends of yours are friends of mine"</p><p>20 minutes later Louis and I were back at the apartment and Louis was wondering around staring into space.  i brought him o my bedroom and tried to help him onto the bed but instead he just slid onto the floor with a thump, 'Hes sooo cuteeee'  I thought to myself before shaking the thought from my head and going to look for some headache medicine for the small boy because he would definitely need it in the morning. </p><p>"I'll be back in 1 second love" i said before leaving the room and heading to the kitchen. I filled a glass of water and grabbed some painkillers before I headed back to the bedroom. When i got back i saw Louis still sitting on the floor, but looking ghostly pale. </p><p>I scooped him up in my arms and carried him to the bathroom i gently placed him down Beside the Toilet and he started to throw up the entire contents of his stomach as I held his hair back and whispered how it was gonna be ok. He was crying and looking utterly defeated as he finally stopped puking and leaned against me with a sigh. I had just helped him stand up when he threw up again this time all over himself. </p><p>"I'm so sorry" he slurred looking devastated, his bright blue eyes bloodshot and filled with tears. "No, no don't be sorry mate, We'll get you cleaned up hangon" i said with a smile and he nodded weakly. i tried to get him to stand up in the bathtub so he could shower but his small body just went limp in my arms. " Is a bath ok?" i said grabbing a bucket full of half empty shower gels from under the sink and putting it beside the tub in case he needed to be sick again. "Yes that's perfect" he mumbled "Is this ok?" i asked tugging at the hem of his shirt, he nodded and i slipped his shirt over his head nd took off his pants and underwear in one go him carefully trying my best not to get a mess everywhere. I tossed his cloths in the sink and started running the bath and i would be lying if i said i didn't look Louis up and down taking him in. He was truly the most beautiful person i'd ever seen. he closed his eyes as i poured water over his hair an started massaging shampoo carefully into his scalp he hummed lightly and i cooed at his cuteness. </p><p>I finished washing up and helped him out of the bath wrapping him in a fluffy towel and helping him into my room. He dried himself off and i went to put his cloths in the washing machine. </p><p>I came back in an Louis was laying on the be naked just staring at the ceiling, i felt my jeans instantly tighten and i bit my lip shaking very the unholy thoughts from my head. i sat down beside him and said "Do you want a dink of water love?" Louis sat up, looking me dead in the eyes and said "No, I want you" he slurred before reaching his hand over and palming me through my jeans.  I had to bite back a moan and it took all the strength in my body to remove his hand, I couldn't let this happen this way it was wrong. </p><p>"Time for bed babes" i said in a strained voice, trying to tuck him into bed. "I'm not tired" Louis said with a yawn and i giggled as his eyes closed almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.  I climbed in beside him making sure to keep a distance in case he wasn't comfortable sharing a bed but as soon as i closed my eyes i felt Louis cuddle up to me sighing contently and all i could think about as i lay there feeling his soft breath against my back and hair tickling my shoulder was i had never felt more at peace.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. It Is What It Is Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Louis POV</p><p>It was already dark when we got to the club. We managed to dodge the bouncer while he was explaining to a 14 year old girl why she couldn't come in. Once we were inside the only thing to be seen was sweaty intoxicated people grinding on each other. I rolled my eyes and headed to the bar. "One gin and tonic please" I said, the bartender nodded and went to get it. I turned around and scanned the crowd for any sign of Liam or Danielle. I found them making out against the wall, Danielle's already short dress hiked up even higher than before. I collected my drink and paid the bartender. I walked over to a table so I could sit and relax and wait for the alcohol to take affect. This was only my second time drinking and the first time I had only gotten mildly tipsy after 2 shots thanks to Liam who stopped me before I got too shitfaced.</p><p>A while later I was on my 3rd or was it 4th drink, I wasn't drunk yet but fairly tipsy. I headed to the bar for another, sitting down on one of the stools while I waited. I was Looking around once again for Liam and Danielle which by the looks of it had taken their make-out session elsewhere.</p><p>"Um can I have a Heineken zero please" said a deep sexy voice that made goosebumps of erupt on my skin instantly. I looked over to see the most drop dead gorgeous human being to ever grace the planet, standing 1 meter away from me. Soft chocolate curls styled in a quiff, deep forest green eyes, smooth olive skin decorated in a multitude of various tattoos and his lips ...... Jesus Christ his lips-------</p><p>"Heineken zero?" repeated the barman confused "uh yeah I'm driving" gorgeous replied back pouting- Jesus Christ I wanted to attack those lips with mine. "Thanks" gorgeous replied, walking away and disappearing into the crowd. I sighed and ordered another drink....</p><p> </p><p>1 hour later</p><p> </p><p>I was beyond drunk. So shitfaced I could hardly stand. I was now dancing weirdly flaying my arms and legs and bobbing my head and screaming the lyrics too some random song I didn't even know. I had my 8th or 9th drink, a vodka and coke in my left hand sloshing It about as I 'danced'.</p><p>Suddenly I bumped into something hard, I lost my balance and almost fell onto my arse, if it wasn't for a large hand grabbing me by the waist I probably would've smashed my glass all over me. when I managed to stand up straight I realized that I had spilled the entire contents of my vodka and coke onto the stranger that saved me.</p><p>"Oops" I said with a giggle. "Hi!" a deep voice said. I looked up and came face to face with the gorgeous guy who was at the bar earlier. "Hey gorgeous" I slurred batting my eyelashes trying to be sexy but failing miserably. "Hello to you too" gorgeous said smiling, and OH MY FUCK he has dimples!!!!!!!!!</p><p>"Whats your name" I asked hiccupping. "I'm Harry, Harry Styles" he said with a small smile, "I'm Louis, Louis Tomlinson" I said proudly like it was the best name in the world.</p><p>The last thing I remember was flashing lights and Harry's beautiful face looking at me concerned.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. It Is What It Is Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I wake up with a groan.</p><p>I feel like death.</p><p>My head is pounding, my mouth is as dry as sandpaper and tastes like something dead. I guess I drank a little bit more then I planned...................................</p><p>"Liam" I croak weakly, if I didn't feel like I'd been hit by at least 10 trucks, I would probably be making fun of the fact that my voice sounds like I'm going through puberty all over again. But I'm way to hungover for that right now.</p><p>I spend awhile just staring at the unfamiliar cracks on the ceiling, which I don't remember being there before. I will have to get Dan to fix them for me, I don't want the ceiling to collapse on me, I feel shit enough as it is thank you very much!! Everything hurts, even my fucking eyes hurt when I try to move them. I yawn loudly and drift back off into another mindless sleep.</p><p>I wake up awhile later to the sound of pans clattering downstairs, mum must be up. Rolling over I crack an eye open to check what time it is. But I don't see my alarm clock. Or my phone. ...........</p><p>Wait. That's not my bedside table. I sit bolt upright and immediately have to lie back down. This isn't my room. I look out the window. This isn't my house, this isn't even A house, by the looks of it it's an a flat, i can ear the noise cars outside and the loud neighbor's upstairs. Where the fuck am I? I look at the side table and see a glass of water and an Aisprin sitting there neatly laid out. Great. I've probably been kidnapped by a serial killer or some shit like that. Just my bloody luck!</p><p>I frantically try to piece together what happened last night, but all I can remember is flashing lights and ---- wait the hot guy! I vaguely remember bumping into him and introducing myself a little bit over enthusiastically. I blushed at the memory. UGH! I don't have the time right now to be embarrassed, I can Instagram stalk the dude later! </p><p>Right now, I need to focus on figuring out where the fuck I am and how the fuck I got here! I slowly and painfully get out of bed, soon realizing a very big problem. I am completely naked, and there's no sign of mine or anyone's clothes in this room. I glance at the bed one last time before standing up and making my way towards the door. I quickly open the door and step outside, praying that I can just find my clothes and leave without anyone knowing. But of course, this is me. The Louis Tomlinson, we are talking about and unfortunately I'm not that lucky.</p><p>I walk into the kitchen and bump right into someone, knocking the cup of tea they were holding straight onto them and the floor. "Oops!" I say, absolutely mortified. "Hi" the stranger says looking up, as he does I almost piss my not existent underwear. Its him. The hot guy from the party. All of a sudden it all the memories I previously tried to remember, come flooding back and I wish that I had just jumped out of the window in the bedroom, when I had the chance. </p><p>"You know that's the second time you've said that to me today, I'm Harry in case you forgot" I finally look up and meet his eyes, and wow he was hotter then I remembered! Emerald green eyes, soft looking plump lips, a jawline sharp enough to cut bread with, chestnut brown hair that fell in effortless curls, framing his angelic face and who could ever forget those dimples. My brain finally registers what he said and I flush in embarrassment at the memory, I spilled my drink all over him and didn't even apologize! "I am so, so sorry! I'll buy you a new shirt, I promise!!" I said starting to panic. He laughed, and god even his laugh is sexy "It's fine mate, it's just a shirt, don't worry about it" but that didn't help either, because now I was almost certain he was not a serial killer and I kinda really fancied him. Only now I've ruined any chance I ever had. </p><p>"I wanna go home " I say as tears start to fall from my bloodshot eyes and the room starts to spin. Harry's expression instantly changes, as a worried expression spreads across his beautiful face. I slump into his arms and sob loudly. I just want to go home and forget this ever happened. Why would Liam just leave me at the club and let a complete stranger take me back to his house. A really nice stranger yes, but a stranger all the same. Some friend he is.</p><p>I cry for what feels like ages, sitting on the floor in Harry's arms sobbing like a 5 year old, while he gently strokes my hair and whispers sweet nothings in my ear. I realize then that this complete stranger has been more of a friend to me in a few hours than anyone, not even Liam has been in 17 years. </p><p>Finally the tears begin to slow and soon I'm sniffling into Harry's snot and tear soaked shirt. "Sorry about your shirt" I mumble into his chest. "It's fine Louis, we all need a good cry now and then" he says smiling softly. "My mums probably worrying where I am, I should probably get going" I lie, she won't be expecting me home until later tonight.</p><p> "Yes of course, but Louis" he says suddenly looking serious and for a second I'm scared he's going to yell at me for messing up his shirt. "Yes" I say wearily. "I'm just gonna go get your cloths" he says with a slight smirk playing on those ridiculously appealing lips. It takes a second for what he just said to register but when it does, I wish that I was really murdered by a serial killer.</p><p>"ughhh" I groan in embarrassment jumping up and trying to move away, before a hand reaches out to stop me.............</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. It Is What It Is Chapter 6</h2></a>
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    <p>Harry's POV</p><p>**********************</p><p> </p><p>"Ughhh" Louis groans looking embarrassed as his face flushes a bright pink, as he jumps up from the floor and starts running towards the door.</p><p>I reach out to grab him, but he shrugs me off and runs back into my room. If I wasn't Liam's friend, and I didn't know this was practically Louis' first time drinking, I would probably have either called the cops or pissed myself laughing at how ridiculous this situation was. But I was Liam's friend so I had the responsibility of taking care of this dude, and secretly i was hoping i could get his number.</p><p>I was shaken from my thoughts by the sound of another door slamming, I looked up and saw Louis standing in the hallway, desperately trying to cover his dignity with his small hands. It was proving to be difficult due to his size, which I wasn't going to lie was impressive. He sheepishly looked up at me with his red rimmed baby blue eyes, that I totally didn't find incredibly attractive...</p><p>"Uh can you please give me my clothes?" he said refusing to meet my eyes. "Sorry, Louis there still in the dryer, you got sick all over them. I can give you something of mine if you want?" he sighed in desperation. "Thank you, Harry" I smiled and went to the spare room, where Niall, Perry, Zayn and I keep our clothes. I found a pair of old grey joggers that were too short for me and a baggy white t-shirt. I never wore color these days, I just didn't see the point if my mood was not matching the color I was wearing.</p><p>I walked back into the kitchen to see Louis awkwardly standing by the counter, waiting for my return. I handed him the clothes with a smile and he took them quickly putting on the t-shirt. I looked at him in confusion, "Who puts on their t-shirt before their trousers?" I said, he laughed and said "Only very special and unique people" he said with a wink. I laughed along trying to ignore how good he looked dressed In my over-sized t-shirt that only covered till his mid-thigh. </p><p>"Are you trying to tell me I'm not special, I'm offended!" I said jokingly. He finished getting dressed and I went to check once again to see if his cloths had dried. I opened the dryer and pulled out Louis' cloths that were still partially damp.'Ughhh i hate washer dryers' i think to myself, 'Everything always takes ages to dry' i start folding his adorable Red jeans with cute little suspenders and a black and white striped t-shirt, I had a flashback to Louis dancing last night while wearing these and I felt my dick twitch at the thought. If this were any normal situation I would probably have fucked him by now. I really needed to pull someone tonight.....</p><p>I was about to bring Louis' clothes back into him when something red caught my eye, I glanced back into the dryer and saw a pair of red, lace panties lying in the bottom of the dryer. I looked at them in confusion before reality dawned on me. No one else's clothes had been in here in over 2 days, except Louis'. These were Louis'. 'Fuck!' I thought, suddenly imagining him moaning in pleasure as I pounded into that tight looking ass of his.</p><p>I had to shake those thoughts from my head as I heard Louis calling my name, not in pleasure but in confusion. I grabbed his clothes and walked into the kitchen. He was still where I had last seen him, leaning against the counter. I handed him back his cloths. He blushed when I handed over the panties but didn't say anything.</p><p>" Sorry they aren't properly dry i only put them to dry this morning" i say apologetically and he smiles "No problem really thanks Harry. For everything. I'm really sorry about uh puking on you and um trying to sleep with you" he said, and I pretty sure he could have been mistaken for a tomato with how red his face was right now. "It's fine Louis. You were drunk. No harm done" I said cheerily. I waved goodbye and watched as his figure disappeared around the corner, he didn't look back.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. It Is What It Is Chapter 7</h2></a>
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    <p>Harry's POV</p><p>I was sitting on the couch watching TV and smoking a joint when my phone buzzed. </p><p>It was a text from Liam.</p><p>LiLi: Hey bro, Niall invited me and Louis over and I was just making sure you were OK with that?</p><p>Me: Yeh no problem, I wouldn't mention to Louis that I'll be there tho</p><p>LILI: why?</p><p>Me: just trust me</p><p>LiLi: Ok Haz........ See you then</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. It Is What It Is Chapter 8</h2></a>
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    <p>Louis POV</p><p>********************</p><p>I practically run home, I fumble as I try to unlock the front door and sprint up the stairs as fast as I can. I finally collapse on top of my bed and let out a sigh. I finally had time to think about everything that happened.</p><p>So basically, I spilled my drink all over this stranger and he took me back to his flat and took care of me while I made an absolute fool of myself. Great. My only question was 'Why?', why would a stranger feel obliged to take me, another stranger home? Especially after said stranger had spilled their drink all over them!</p><p>I groan and turn over on my side. Suddenly my phone starts ringing and I struggle to retrieve it from where I had thrown it on the floor, after my dramatic entrance. "Hello" I say sleepily as soon as I managed to answer it. "Hey boo, the girls and I are going to stay over at Dan's tonight and I figured you wouldn't want to come over so you have the house free tonight" my mother says sounding way too pleased with herself.</p><p> "Uh, OK mum thanks" I said a bit confused. "Okay, night boo, talk tomorrow" she said as she was about to hang up. "Wait, its not night!" I said. "Louis, it's 6pm" she chuckled, "I take it you had fun last night then, yeah?" she asked sounding smug. "Nooooooo, Muuuumm" I groaned, she was so embarrassing. She was probably one of the only mothers that I had heard of that was desperate from me to sleep with someone. "Enjoy yourself!" she said and I could hear someone laughing at me in the background. Great. I was on loud speaker.</p><p>I hung up and threw my phone back down on the bed. Suddenly it was buzzing again. "BLOODY HELL" I screamed. This was fucking ridiculous! I needed sleep. Why can't people just leave me the hell alone!</p><p>Liam: Hey Lou, I'm going over to some friends houses tonight, do you wanna come with?</p><p>Me: Which friends?</p><p>Liam: You wouldn't know them, so is that a yes?</p><p>Me: Yeah OK. What time?</p><p>Liam: 7.00, how was last night?</p><p>Me: Last night was OK. Where'd you go? I needed you.</p><p>Liam: Home with Danny. Sorry for being a shit friend. What can I do to make it up to you?</p><p>Me: never leave me again, okay? Promise.</p><p>Liam: I promise Lou Lou. I'm so sorry.</p><p>Me: It's fine, see you then Li</p><p> </p><p>I get up and head to the bathroom to take a well needed shower. I stand there letting the warm water cascade down my back, soothing my aching muscles. It feels good to wash last night away. Hopefully I never ever had to see Harry's annoyingly beautiful face ever again!</p><p>Little did I know I would see Harry's annoyingly beautiful face again sooner than I ever thought..........................................</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. It Is What It Is Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Authors Note:</p><p>So in this chapter the POV will change from Harry's to Louis' and visa versa. I will warn you in advance so hopefully it's not too confusing 😊 This chapter is slightly longer then the last ones to thank you for your patience.</p><p>!!!!WARNING—MATURE CONTENT!!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry's POV</p><p> *******</p><p> </p><p>Later on that day.</p><p>*******</p><p> </p><p>I groan as Zayn snakes his tongue inside my mouth, exploring territory to a map he knows by heart, still eager to take in everything it has to offer even though he's had me countless times before. </p><p>He always comes back for more. He was the only one who stayed.</p><p>I press him up against the shower wall, earning a loud groan from my best friend clutching onto me for dear life. Finally disconnecting our lips, Zayn moans, tilting his head back to give me more access to his neck. "Fuck, Hazz," he breathes raggedly, eyes fluttering shut.</p><p>I just nip and suck at more areas of exposed, non-tattooed skin, groaning at the taste of his skin. All the while being careful not to mark him too much, he has a modeling gig in a few days and he didn't need a trail of hickeys down his neck.</p><p>Our hair is soaked, sticking to our foreheads it starts to get in our eyes. Groaning in annoyance, Zayn moves his floppy fringe from his eyes before pushing away the curly strands of hair from my face. </p><p>He moans as his back hits the cold wall, I take advantage of it by slipping my tongue into his mouth, causing him to whimper and wrap his arms around my neck. "It's my turn to top" I growl as I turn him around so he was facing the wall, his arms pressed over his head.</p><p>I roll on a condom and position my tip at his entrance. There was no need for prep. Less than 10 minutes ago, I had caught him fingering himself in his room, he was in almost 4 fingers deep as he whimpered my name. I had been horny all day after my encounter with Louis that morning, and had been debating going out just so I could pull someone. I hate using my best friend for sex, because I know that neither of us are romantically attached to each other. But it's hard to feel THAT guilty when the sex is THIS good.</p><p>I entered him with one hard thrust, groaning loudly as his forehead hits the shower wall. Damn, we've had sex so many times, but it never gets boring. I faintly hear the doorbell ringing and Niall running to answer it, before I'm grabbing his hips and slamming into him.</p><p>Loud slapping sounds echo through the bathroom as I thrust into my best mate. "Fuckk Hazzz right there!" Zayn yelled, making me pick up my pace, My movements became faster and harder, causing us both to moan in pleasure. "So fucking tight babe, not gonna last much longer" he said loudly. "Come for me baby" I said, too caught up in my own pleasure to care if I was shouting or not. I pulled out fully before slamming back into him with a hard thrust, pushing Both of us over the cliff into heaven.</p><p>We both come with a cry and we collapsed against the tiled wall. The water had gone cold at this stage and streaks of white come were being washed down the drain.</p><p>It's then we realize that someone was banging on the bathroom door. "Be out in a second" Zayn said as we both quickly dry ourselves. I throw on a fresh pair of black skinny jeans and a black V-neck top, while Zayn slips on some navy joggers and a white T-shirt. I ruffled my hair with a towel and open the door.</p><p>A small boy with light brown hair falls into my arms, "Oops!" he says before looking up. When he sees me his face goes from embarrassed to completely mortified,</p><p>"Hi" I said with a smirk.</p><p>Louis POV</p><p>I was standing outside the door of the address that Liam had texted to me, debating weather or not I should knock or just wait for Liam to get here. He was stuck in traffic after opting to drive instead of taking the bus like me. I was bursting for a wee and I didn't know how much longer I could hold it for. After a few more seconds I couldn't take it any longer. I rang the doorbell and waited for the door to open. </p><p>A minute later the door opened and blonde haired guy with bright blue eyes and huge smile waved at me. "Hi I'm Niall! You must be Louis" he said looking genuinely happy to see me. "Yep that's me" I said returning his smile "I don't mean to be rude but I really need to use your bathroom" I said suddenly remembering my full bladder which was on the brink of exploding. "Of course mate, down the hall, it's the first door on the right" he said ushering me inside and closing the door behind me.</p><p>I quickly walk down the hall and find the bathroom no problem. I practically run over to the door before trying to open it.</p><p> Its locked.</p><p> SHITTTTTTTT.</p><p>I think to myself as I tap my foot impatiently waiting for whoever was in there to be done. I can hear the shower running. The person should only be around 5 minutes, I just have to last 5 minutes.</p><p>It's then I hear a groan, followed by "Ooooh fuck Hazzz right there!". Great. One of Liam's friends is screwing someone in the bathroom. He had to admit it was kind of hot to hear.</p><p>I stand there. Leaning against the bathroom door, while listening to a chorus of:</p><p>"So fucking tight babe, not gonna last much longer"</p><p>"FUCK"</p><p>"Come for me baby"</p><p>And finally a series of moans before, silence.</p><p>I hear the shower being turned off and 2 people climbing out in silence. I bang on the door, trying my best to hurry them up. "Be out in a second" a deep male voice says. A few seconds later the door opens and I forget that I'm leaning against it. I fall into the person at the door with an "Oops" before I look up and I suddenly feel like fainting.</p><p>Because looking up at me with glazed over eyes, puffy lips and fucked up hair is none other than Harry Styles.</p><p>"Hi" he says smirking, and I just about pass out right then and there, still trying to balance myself against his muscular form.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. It Is What It Is Chapter 10</h2></a>
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    <p>Harry's POV</p><p>The three  of us stand there not saying anything for what seems like forever. Louis was looking at me with a mixture of embarrassment, confusion and.... anger? Zayn is awkwardly standing behind us watching with interest.</p><p>"Uh sorry for interrupting" Louis said awkwardly, moving from one foot to another. "No problem man, we're sorry you had to hear that" Zayn said popping his head around the door. Louis eyes rake Zayn's body before he turned his attention back to me. "Nice to see you again Louis" I say smiling, I was genuinely happy to see him. "I really need to piss!" Louis says abruptly, trying to push his way past. I grabbed Zayn and pulled him out of the bathroom before Louis slams the door shut.</p><p>Zayn and I go to my room and dry our hair. We entered the living room with a freshly lit joint in our hands. Louis, Liam, Niall, Perry and Danielle were sitting on the couch chatting away to each other, except for Louis and Liam who were having what looked like a heated argument. Louis glances over at me looking slightly flustered. I take a seat beside Louis and Zayn takes a seat beside Perry.</p><p>"Hi Louis" I said smiling down the small boy. "Hi Harry" he said angrily before turning back around and ignoring me. I'm totally confused. What have I done?</p><p> "Savez-vous pourquoi Louis es en colére contre moi?" I ask Perry.</p><p>(Do you know why Louis is mad at me?)</p><p>"Aucune idée harry, il est venu en regardant énervé"</p><p>(No idea Harry he just came in looking pissed)</p><p>"Tu peux distraire Liam pour que je puisse lui parler?" I plead</p><p>(Can you distract Liam so I can talk to him?)</p><p>"OK juste ne regardez pas suspect" Perry replies.</p><p>(OK just don't look suspicious)</p><p>"Hey Liam how long have you and Danny been together?" Perry asks turning her attention to Liam and Danielle. They start a conversation between themselves about 'Healthy relationships' and I zone out completely, focusing on Louis who looks like he wants to shrink into the couch.</p><p>"So Louis, your friends with Liam?" I say trying to break the silence.<br/>"Yeah" he says. I decide to just get the inevitable over with and just ask him straight out<br/>"Why are you mad at me? I didn't do anything did I?" he looks surprised at my straight forward attitude and thinks for a moment before saying, "I'm not mad at you, I don't even know you" he looks me straight in the eyes and I can tell he's not telling the whole truth.<br/>"But I'm trying to get to know you and you won't give me a chance" I say incredulous.<br/>"Its not like we had the best of introductions, is it?" he says and I see a blush creeping up his neck as he rolls his eyes. I chuckle<br/>"I guess not really, but that isn't a valid reason for us not to be friends" he goes to say something before he is rudely interrupted by Niall asking if we want a drink. Louis politely declines and I shake my head indicating that I'm fine.</p><p>Suddenly I feel a buzzing noise coming from my pocket, I reach for my phone and press answer.</p><p>"Hello" I say slightly annoyed that I was being interrupted yet again from talking to Louis.</p><p>"Bonjour Harry, J'ai un petit travail pour vous" said a familiar voice</p><p>(Hello Harry I have a little job for you)</p><p>"Qu'est-ce que tu veux, je suis un peu occupé en ce moment" I say really annoyed, this fucker has the nerve to call me right now!!</p><p>(What do you want, I'm kind of busy at the moment)</p><p>"Ooooh quelqu'un ne s'en va pas, les choses vont empirer si vous ne faites pas ce que je dis Styles, rappelez-vous que je vous possède" they say cackling</p><p>(Ooooh someones not happy I see, well things are going to get a lot worse if you don't do as I say Styles, remember, I own you)</p><p>"Bien, envoyez-moi les détails" I say aggressively before I hang up.</p><p>(Fine text me the details)</p><p>I look up to see everyone including Louis staring at me with confused looks on their faces.</p><p>"I have to go" I say quickly before I'm grabbing my coat and slamming the door behind me.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. It Is What It Is Chapter 11</h2></a>
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    <p>Louis POV</p><p>*WARNING--- MATURE CONTENT*</p><p>I stared wide eyed at Harry who is standing at the door looking surprised. My full bladder was momentarily forgotten. My mind was trying to get up to speed on the fact that I had just heard Harry Styles having sex in the shower with someone, and the fact that I was very, very turned on by this.</p><p>I finally snapped back to reality and quickly say "Uh sorry for interrupting" I'm blushing like crazy as I stare at my feet.</p><p>"No problem man, sorry you had to here that" said a voice, I looked up and saw a mildly attractive raven-haired boy smiling and me from behind the door. I'm definitely not jealous of this guy, PFFT, of course not! It took a moment for my brain to register that Harry had just had sex with a GUY in the SHOWER!!</p><p>Was Harry gay? I suddenly felt way to excited. It was then I remembered I still really needed to pee. The perfect excuse. I could jerk off in the bathroom!</p><p>"Nice to see you again Louis" he said huskily, I was trying my hardest not imagine the fact that his throat was probably still raw from the activities that had previously take place I the bathroom minutes before.</p><p>"I really need to piss!" I said a little too enthusiastic. Before I barged my way into the bathroom and locking the door behind me</p><p>After relieving myself I close the toilet lid and sit down. I slide my hand down my body opening the button of my jeans, pulling the zipper down and sliding my hand inside. A low moan escapes my lips as my cock starts to harden inside my favorite cherry red lace panties. Fuck that felt amazing.</p><p>All I could think about was taking Harry's probably big, hard cock in my hand and jerking him off. Just the thought of it was getting me a little harder than before. God, its embarrassing how horny Harry gets me, but I don't care.</p><p>A soft sigh comes from my mouth and I start to touch myself through my panties. My cock was hard and begging for some attention. I pull down my panties as well my jeans. My cock is laying hard and full against my belly pre-come dripping from the tip. Wrapping my hand around myself I slowly start to jerk off.</p><p>"Oh fuck," I moaned, as I moved my hand rhythmically up and down my cock. I play with the wet tip a little, smearing the pre-come around it. Fuck, that felt really good. I couldn't hold back the moans I was making, even if I tried. I couldn't. I was lost in my own pleasure. I move my hand to my chest, squeezing my nipples, making them hard. I had forgotten, how good that was. How good it felt to give my body this kind of attention. It was incredible.</p><p>Sweat was dripping down my temple and I could feel my orgasm starting to build. I Could feel how my  balls were getting tighter with every stroke of my hand. I'm seconds away from coming in my own hand. I come moaning Harry's name, throwing my head back as thick hot spurts of come leave my cock, covering my hand.</p><p>Only afterwards did it occur to me that I just jerked off to the thought of one of Liam's friends.</p><p>I quickly clean myself up before making my way to the living room, I plop myself down beside Liam.</p><p>"Liam why didn't you tell me that you and Harry were friends" I said trying to remain composed. I was angry at him for leaving me! I mean I wouldn't have a chance with Harry anyway, but at least he wouldn't think of me as the little virgin boy who wears panties and tried to sleep with him during his first time getting drunk!!! </p><p>"Look Louis I already told you I was sorry! Can't we talk about this later? Please don't cause a scene!" Liam said desperately.</p><p> How DARE he accuse me of trying to create a scene! "I am not trying to create a scene! I want to know why MY best friend left me at a party, my FIRST party, letting his 'friend' who is a total stranger to me and is now acting like a total jerk about it!" I say, my words venomous. </p><p>Liam is about to say something before Harry sits down on the other side of me. He's smoking a joint and I can smell his strawberry scented shampoo emanating from his freshly washed curls.</p><p>Hi Louis" he says smirking, "Hi Harry" I spit out. He looks confused. Good. I want him to feel bad. Wait. Do I? This isn't really his fault.</p><p>My thoughts are interrupted by Harry who starts talking rapidly in French to a blond-haired girl who is sitting beside the guy Harry was fucking in the shower. My first thought is 'FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST HARRY IS HOT WHEN HE TALKS FRENCH' and my second thought, is that guy Harry was fucking dating the blond haired girl? They looked awfully close. </p><p> </p><p>Was Harry helping that guy cheat? I'm too caught up in my own thoughts to realize that Harry and the blond had finished talking.</p><p>"Hey Liam how long have you and Danny been together?" Blond girl asks turning her attention to Liam and Danielle. They start a conversation between themselves about 'Healthy relationships' and I want to shrink into the couch. I've never been in a relationship, I hadn't even had my first kiss yet.</p><p>"So Louis, your friends with Liam?" Harry asks</p><p>"Yeah" I say, not really in the mood to talk</p><p>"Why are you mad at me? I didn't do anything did I?" Harry asks suddenly, determination clear on his beautiful face.</p><p>"I'm not mad at you, I don't even know you" I say, but I'm not telling the whole truth. I mean i am mad at him, in a way.......</p><p>"But I'm trying to get to know you and you won't give me a chance" he says incredulous.</p><p>"Its not like we had the best of introductions, is it?" I say, feeling a blush creep up my neck. I try to cover it up by rolling my eyes. He chuckles. I guess my cover-up was unsuccessful.</p><p>"I guess not really, but that isn't a valid reason for us not to be friends" he goes to say something before he is rudely interrupted by Niall asking if we want a drink. I politely declines and Harry shakes his head indicating that he doesn't want anything.</p><p>I hear a buzzing noise coming from his pocket, he reaches for his phone and answers it.</p><p>"Hello" he says in his deep, sexy voice. He starts talking rapidly in French, visibly becoming more and more annoyed by whoever he was talking to. He hangs up looking pissed. He takes one look at everyone who had apparently stopped talking to each other so they could stare at Harry. "I have to go" he says quickly before grabbing his coat and slamming the door behind him.</p><p>Everyone shares a look before they return to their previous conversations. I stand up quickly.</p><p>I just want to go home. "Bye everyone, it was nice to meet you all. I have to go now" I say while I tie my shoe lace. I hear a chorus of "Bye Louis" before I'm closing the door behind me and walking down the hallway.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. It Is What It Is Chapter 12</h2></a>
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    <p>Louis POV</p><p>**************</p><p> </p><p>I wait in the cold for 40 while waiting for the bus, but I don't mind. It gives me time to think. </p><p>The bus arrives and 30 minutes later I'm walking up the road that leads to my house. I can faintly hear sirens in the distance, but I think nothing of it as I continue on my way.</p><p>I reach my house and just as I'm about to walk up the driveway, a hand grabs me from behind, before covering my mouth with their hand. I gasp as I'm wrestled over the wall. I hit the ground with a THUMP and I groan as pain shoots up my shoulder. I try to fight back but whoever is holding me is way stronger than I am. I can't get a good look at their face because of how dark it is, and I have no choice but to stay put until I can escape.</p><p>A few minutes pass and I'm still pressed to the ground by a complete stranger. I can tell its a man, because of how flat his chest is. I feel like laughing internally at how this is the most intimate physical experience I've ever had, and it's when I'm being held captive by a crazy person. Sad. I guess I'm going to die a virgin. Lottie was right. Oh well, I'll be dead so i won't have to admit it to her face at least.</p><p>The shooting pain in my shoulder is increasing as I hear sirens outside and I pray that they come and save me. Sadly they pass by and just when I'm starting to think that this is the end. The stranger lets go of me.</p><p>I rapidly jump to my feet and kick the stranger straight in the balls. They collapse to the ground clutching their crotch and groaning in pain. </p><p>"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHY DID YOU TRY AND KILL ME?" I scream at the stranger who is still hunched over in a ball lying on the grass.</p><p>"I'm sorry, please let me explain"</p><p>I freeze. I know that voice.</p><p>The dark figure looks up and I recognize them instantly.</p><p>"Louis!" they gasp as they see me.</p><p>"Not you AGAIN!" I groan.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. It Is What It Is Chapter 13</h2></a>
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    <p>Harry's POV</p><p>*******</p><p>"Not you AGAIN!" Louis groans. I run my hand through my hair, a nervous habit of mine.</p><p> How am I gonna worm my way out of this one? I think to myself. I mean Louis could tell someone, and then everyone would be in danger. I could faintly hear the sirens going off in the distance. They seemed to be getting closer. I had to do something.</p><p>"Look Louis, I'm so, so sorry about this but I really need your help right now." I said desperately.</p><p>"What could you possibly want from me?" Louis asked incredulous.</p><p>"I'm being chased Louis, and I need you to help me find a place to hide" I beg.</p><p>"Only if you explain what the hell is happening right now!" Louis said folding his arms over his chest and scrunching up his nose in a challenging manner. Even though I was kind of in a hurry right now I had to admit he was cute when he was trying to intimidating.</p><p>"OK fine! I will Just please help me find somewhere to hide first!" I said with pleading eyes.</p><p>"Promise?" Louis asked looking at me with those beautiful light blue eyes. I looked him dead in the eye trying to show my sincerity in my stare.</p><p>"I promise Lou" I said, my whisper barely audible.</p><p>He nodded before he grabbed my hand and we walked around the back of his house. He opens the door and leads us inside. His house was spacious and organised. Not one single thing seemed to be out of place. Louis slips off his cute little red vans and leaves them at the door. I followed his actions. Slipping off my old and worn Chelsea boots and leaving them by the door.</p><p>"We're going to have to share a bed, unless you want to sleep on the floor" Louis said breaking the silence. I looked up at him before nodding "Yeah that's fine, thanks for this Louis, I know we're practically strangers" I said sincerely. </p><p>He nods before unzipping his jacket. I see him wincing as he tries to slide his left shoulder out of the sleeve, "Louis are you OK? Are you hurt? Did I do that?" I say frantically trying to figure out what could be wrong. "It's fine Harry, you didn't do anything" Louis says, not making eye contact with me.</p><p> He's lying.</p><p> I walk up to him so our faces are only centimeters apart. I look him straight in the eyes before saying "I don't like it when people lie to me Louis" in a low voice.</p><p>I see him visibly shrink down, like he's afraid I will hurt him. I instantly soften my expression "I'm not going to hurt you Louis, I would never" he looks at me surprised but still doesn't utter a word. "What's wrong?" I said determined.</p><p>"When you lay on top of me, my shoulder slammed into the ground" Louis whispered. I could feel his light minty breath tickle my face. "I'm sorry Louis, let me see it" I said. </p><p>I was so angry at myself! Why did I always hurt everyone around me?</p><p>I looked Louis in the eyes, looking for approval before I slowly unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it off his warm body. His shoulder was slightly bruised. I lightly ran my fingers over it, Louis skin erupting in goose-bumps.</p><p>"Do you have an ice-pack?" I ask looking up to see Louis staring at me intently.</p><p>"Yes, in the top drawer of the freezer" I went over and found it with ease before I walked back over to Louis. I placed it over the bruise but he swatted me away,</p><p>"Too cold" he whimpered. Under normal circumstances, I would probably have told the bruised person to grow the hell up and stop being a baby, but this was Louis not anyone else. I took off my t-shirt before wrapping it around the ice pack hoping it would take the sharpness off the cold. I could feel Louis eyes boring into my skin as I gently placed the ice on Louis' bruised shoulder.</p><p>"You've got a lot of tattoos" Louis stated. "Yeah, got my first one at 15 then I just kind of got into it" I said trying my best to concentrate on Louis' face and not his chest. </p><p>After a few more minutes Louis and I got up and headed to his room. His room was small enough, it was light blue and didn't have much furniture. There were a few piles of clothes on the floor, but overall it was actually quite neat.</p><p>Louis stripped to his cute blue panties that were the same shade of blue as his eyes, they were see-through, and a g-string at the back but he didn't seem to care, and hell I wasn't complaining!</p><p>I took off my trousers leaving me in my tight black Calvin Klein boxer shorts. I switched off the light and we both wordlessly climbed into Louis' single bed, at first trying to stay on our own side but eventually giving up and tangling our limbs together. </p><p>We fit like puzzle pieces and I felt my heart flutter when he placed a small hand on my bare chest. What the hell was happening? This was me, Harry Styles. I didn't have feelings. I didn't allow myself to. Louis was too innocent and delicate to be involved with me. He would never like me anyway.</p><p>"Harry" a small voice broke me from my thoughts. "Yes Lou?" I whisper, we had no reason to be quiet but it felt like talking out loud would break the bubble of calmness surrounding us.</p><p>"I want to get to know you better, I mean if you want to" he said and I totally didn't feel like fist pumping the air</p><p>"Yes of course Lou, I would love to get to know you better" I was grinning into the darkness.</p><p>"Oh and don't forget, you owe me an explanation tomorrow mister!" Louis said sassily. I laughed nervously before snuggling further into Louis. His soft breathing soon evened out and I finally allowed myself to think.</p><p>What was I going to do? I couldn't lie. Not to Louis. I wanted to be a good friend to him. Would he even want to be my friend after he knew the real me? Most people who say they want to get to know me usually try to 'turn the bad boy good' so they can look cool. But they don't know me. Nobody truly knows me. No one who is alive at least.</p><p>My last thought before I drift into a mindless sleep is "Can I really trust you Louis?"</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. It Is What It Is Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry's POV</p><p>*************</p><p>The sound of giggling brought me back from the dead of sleep. I started to wriggle and stretch within the cozy, warm, haven that is Louis' bed.</p><p> As parts of my body gradually start waking up, I realize that I'm still cuddled into Louis. He looked beautiful. He looked even more innocent when he was asleep. Eyes delicately shut, lips gently parted as small snores escape his mouth.</p><p>"Shhhh Fizzz you'll wake them!" someone whisper shouted. I looked down and saw 5 girls and 1 lady holding a baby. The girls were laughing hysterically and the lady had an amused smile on her face.</p><p>"Who are you?" said one of the girls. She had brown hair and blue eyes just like Louis. Wait. Are these people Louis' family?</p><p>"Uh I'm Harry" I said with a blush. </p><p>"How long have you known Louis? He's never mentioned you before" said another young girl appearing out of nowhere. This one had blond hair but the same piercing blue eyes as Louis.</p><p>"I haven't known him long" I'm not sure what to say. I'm praying that Louis will just wake up!</p><p>It was then I heard a groaning noise. 'Louis was waking up!' I think. But to my dismay, He just rolled over and cuddled further into me. It was unbelievably cute! But I kind of needed help right now!</p><p>Suddenly Louis' eyes fluttered open and he looked at me in a panic before relaxing when he seemed to remember why I was here.</p><p>"Morning Haz" he said sleepily. Clinging onto me like a koala bear. I tried me best not to coo at how cute he is but I'm miserably failing.</p><p>"LOU LOU HAS A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!" chanted the girls. Louis sat bolt upright, his eyes going wide when he saw the crowd gathered at the end of his bed.</p><p>He looked at me before looking under the blankets. His features flooding with relief that we had underwear on. "He's not my boyfriend" Louis said a raspy edge on his feminine voice. It totally didn't make me want to take him right here on this bed right now in front of his whole family.</p><p>"Sureeeeeee we believe you" they said while they attempted to wink, it looked more like they were having a stroke! I giggled. These people are hilarious I have to admit, it's just hard to be on the receiving end of the jokes!</p><p>"Just get out please, we'll be down in a few minutes, just let us get dressed in peace" Louis said sounding exasperated. </p><p>"Of course we'll leave you two to get dressed, just no funny business!!" said the lady which I presume is Louis mum.</p><p>Louis blushes an even deeper shade of red if that were even possible. I have to admit though he was so cute when he blushed.</p><p> "Just go away mum we'll be down in a few minutes okay!?" she chucked before she rounded up Louis' sisters and closed the door quietly behind her. You could still hear the girls giggling as they walked down the stairs</p><p>"I am so sorry" Louis says hanging his head in shame.</p><p>"Are they your family?" I ask.</p><p>"Yeah" Louis answers</p><p>"They seem really nice, they are definitely enthusiastic" I say with a smile.</p><p>"Yep they definitely have character alright! What about your family?" Louis asks curiously. </p><p>I know he has no idea but it still hurts every damn time. I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart. It never gets any easier. The only people who know the Partial  truth are Zayn, Perry, Liam, Niall and her. Liam found out by accident and he was warned not to say anything. I suspect he has told Danny though.</p><p>My point is: I am not ready to tell Louis yet. So i decide that instead of lying, I should tell him the Indirect truth..........</p><p>"Um my family, I haven't seen them since I was 15" I answer. I have to take a deep breath to steady my wavering voice.</p><p>Louis is looking at me with a concerned expression, almost like he feels sorry for me. I can't deal with it. I'm so tired of people looking at me with sad eyes, I'm so sick of people trying to 'Fix' me.</p><p>"Im----" I cut Louis off</p><p>"Please don't apologize, I don't need anyone's sympathy" I say looking into his eyes with an intense stare.</p><p>We both looked at each other. Green and blue. It felt so safe, so warm. I just wish I could stay here forever.</p><p>"If you want we can go somewhere else to talk, it can get a bit crowded here in the morning" Louis said softly.</p><p>"Yeah that sounds Lovely" I smile.</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. It Is What It Is Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry's POV (Previous chapter recap)</p><p>***************</p><p>We both looked at each other. Green and blue. It felt so safe, so warm. I just wish I could stay here forever.</p><p>"If you want we can go somewhere else to talk, it can get a bit crowded here in the morning" Louis said softly.</p><p>"Yeah that sounds Lovely" I smiled</p><p>****************************************</p><p> </p><p>Louis POV (Current Chapter)</p><p>***********</p><p>"We should probably get up my mum seems to be dying to get to know you" I say quirking an eyebrow.</p><p>Harry bursts out laughing "Well, we wouldn't want to disappoint her, now would we?" he says with a grin.</p><p>I swing my short legs over the side of the bed and throw the duvet from my bare body. My small feet hit the hard wooden floor. I get up and head to my dresser pulling out a pair of black leggings, a baby pink t-shirt, baby pink vans and matching silk panties. What? I like to be color coordinated!</p><p>I catch sight of myself in the mirror as I walk by. My panties are almost see-through. I glance at Harry and see him staring at me. I grin before sending him a quick wink. His eyes widen in surprise momentarily before his signature smirk returns.</p><p>I strip off, not caring about Harry watching. I get dressed before going over to my dresser to get ready. Harry gets up then, striding over to me. He wraps his strong arms tightly around my waist and whispers into my ear "Can we run by my place so I can get some clothes? I don't think any of yours are gonna fit!" I roll my eyes.</p><p>"Yeah fine, but I hope that that wasn't you calling me small, remember Harry I'm the sass masta from Doncasta!" I quip. Harry bursts out laughing. Proper, full on, belly laughing, he crouches down, hugging his knees to try and quiet himself. He giggles so loudly that I was afraid my mother was going to think we're doing something—I dunno, illegal? </p><p>Harry has an amazing laugh, his lips stretched so wide that it looked like it almost hurt, wheezing with unrestrained laughter, and it wasn't long until I was laughing too, trying to hide my giggle behind my hand, stumbling with how weightless this made me feel, I hadn't laughed like this in a long time, not because I was unhappy, just because I really didn't have much to laugh about, I didn't have many friends and Liam was always busy with Danny these days.</p><p>I stare down at Harry, shaking my head fondly, completely overwhelmed, at how clumsy and free and innocent he looked, I knew he was far from that. But in this moment he looks so fragile all I want to do is protect him.</p><p>Harry gets up and strides over to collect his clothes from the floor where he had carelessly discarded them the night before, I realize now how bad it must have looked to my mother and sisters – both mine and Harry's clothes thrown without thought onto the floor, and the two of us snuggled up in bed, a tangle of limbs. I blush at the thought.</p><p>I glance over at Harry who is pulling on his jeans he has really muscular thighs, so strong I bet he could crush someone's head in between them. OK. Its been what, 24 hours? And Harry is already beginning to corrupt me.</p><p>Harry moves his leg suddenly causing the leg of his boxers to ride up slightly, I catch a glimpse of multuiple red lines running horizontally on the inside of his milky white thighs. "Harry, what's that?" I ask. "What's what?" he says as he pulls on his t-shirt. "The red lines on the inside of your thigh, how did you hurt it" Harry shudders, looking at me with dark eyes before he says in a deep threatening voice, "Nothing, I don't know what you're talking about".</p><p>The tone of his voice and the darkness in his eyes shuts me up and the both of us act like it never happened. We finish getting ready and head downstairs. As we enter the kitchen my mum is by the cooker making us breakfast.</p><p>"Hi boys, the breakfast will be ready soon" my mum says with a smile. Harry and I take a seat at the table. The girls keep asking embarrassing questions like "So how's Louis in bed--- Wait no eww?" and "Are you Louis' best friend, where's Liam?" Harry is taking it surprisingly well actually. He patiently explains with that adorable goofy smile of his that we are just friends and that Liam is out with Danny. I on the other hand, aren't doing so good. My face is buried in my hands the whole time and I'm afraid I'm going to die at how embarrassing this is.</p><p> Daisy reaches out to touch Harry's hair, "Its soft like cotton candy" Daisy says in awe. Everyone laughs but silently agrees all the same.</p><p>Harry makes the twins laugh by pulling funny faces and he even gets Daisy to eat her food without a fuss by saying that if she wants long curly candyfloss hair like his she needs to 'eat all the food her mummy tells her too'</p><p>"You do have really pretty curly hair Harry I can see why Louis likes you so much" Fizzy says with a wink. I throw a piece of bacon at her head and then all hell breaks loose! Fizzy pours her orange juice on me, Lottie starts laughing hysterically and soon everyone is throwing food and screaming like lunatics. Harry joins in and smears some ketchup from Phoebe's plate on Fizzy's face. She giggles and clutches her heart in an act of mock hurt before grabbing the salt and tipping it over poor Harry's head. Harry lets out a huge laugh before tickling her under the arms. Fizzy squeals in delight kicking and punching to try and escape Harry's grasp.</p><p>My stare is broken when my mother comes back into the room and sees the mess we've made. "WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?" she yells over the clatter of plates and cutlery. Everyone instantly stops what they're doing and starts to clean up. Arguing "It wasn't me" and "Louis started it".</p><p>"Ahem, I wasn't doing anything" I say fiercely. "Yeah that's because you were too preoccupied staring at Harry with heart eyes to focus" Lottie quips. Mum bursts out laughing and says "It's fine, guys I'll clean it up. Just don't do it again" Everyone looks at each other with wide eyes before scurrying upstairs to change clothes.</p><p>"I'm so sorry Mrs Tomlinson" Harry says bowing his head. "It's fine dear, I'm used to mess with this many kids! Also call me Jay, sweetie." Mum smiled sweetly. "Mum Harry and I are going to go out shopping so I'll probably be back late." I say hoping to get the nod now while she's in such a good mood. "Of course Boo Bear, just be careful and be home by 11" I blushed at the nickname, while Harry cooed.</p><p>"Boo Bear huh?" Harry said as we closed the front door behind us. Harry had shaken the salt out of his hair and was planning to have a quick shower when he got home anyway. I was mostly unscathed by the food fight incident. "Don't you start" I warn.</p><p>He giggled before saying "I think its adorable, just like you! Also how do you feel about going into town later on? I gotta pick up a package" I guessed by 'package' he meant drugs and I was not getting involved with that. "I don't do drugs!" I blurt. Great. Now Harry will think I'm a loser.</p><p>"Louis" Harry starts "You know I would never, ever push you or anyone into anything they don't want to do, I know how bad drugs are for people's health" he says solemnly. </p><p>"Then why do you do it? It could kill you" I ask, Harry sighs before answering.</p><p>"I don't do drugs to be 'cool' or to fit in. I do it to take away the pain. To escape. Even if it means I live 20 years less than expected, at least that's 20 less years that I have to deal with the emptiness, the hurt, the regret and the torture! I know it's only a temporary fix, but anything is better than nothing, even death" Harry is breathing heavy slow breaths. He reaches for his pocket before turning away from me and taking a puff of an inhaler. He runs a hand through his hair before taking my hand and giving me a small smile.</p><p>Its then I realize, Harry styles has a lot of secrets, a lot of demons and I'm probably going to end up with a broken heart. But I want to be there for him, and I will.</p><p> If only I understood the power my words held as I quietly agreed to them. </p><p>If only I had truly known what I was getting myself into......................</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. It Is What It Is Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>**********</p><p>Previously</p><p>**********</p><p>Its then I realize, Harry styles has a lot of secrets, a lot of demons and I'm probably going to end up with a broken heart. But I want to be there for him, and I will. If only I understood the power my words held as I quietly agreed to them.</p><p>If only I had truly known what I was getting myself into......................</p><p>**********</p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>**********</p><p>Louis and I walk hand in hand to the flat, it's only a 20 minute walk and I almost wish it took longer, just so I could spend more time holding Louis' hand.</p><p>His hand is so small compared to mind. And My large hand engulfing his in almost a protective manner.</p><p>We make it inside the apartment and I leave Louis in the living room with the television on so I can go have a shower. </p><p> </p><p>Louis POV</p><p>**********</p><p>I'm sitting on the couch in the living room, waiting for Harry who is in the shower. I'm trying not to think about the fact that Harry is naked only 2 rooms away.</p><p>I look around the small living room. It's hard to believe that 5 people live in such a small flat. All there is, is a small kitchen which connects to this living room and 2 bedrooms. Where do they all sleep?</p><p>I've been inside Harry's room and the bathroom before and here obviously! But I don't know what the other rooms looked like. Granted less than 2 days ago I hadn't even met Harry or any of Liam's other friends. Its funny how 2 days can feel like a lifetime.</p><p>Something catches my attention from across the room. It's a small red Picture frame sitting on top of the fire place. I lean over to get a better look.</p><p>There's a photo. A photo of two people. Two women.</p><p>I carefully take the picture down from the top of the fireplace so I can get a closer look. There's something drawing me into this photo that I just can't put my finger on.</p><p>The older of the two cropped wavy hair and chocolate brown eyes. She was smiling sweetly at the camera. The second girl looked about Harry's age. She had straight brown hair and emerald green eyes—wait. I know those eyes. </p><p>Harry?</p><p>"Enjoying yourself?" I jump back into the chair.</p><p>I look up and see Zayn standing there with a less than friendly look on his face. "Uh! Hi!" I stutter</p><p>"Don't tell Harry you saw that" Zayn says in a low voice </p><p>"Why? It's just a picture" </p><p>"Do you know who the people in the picture are?" Zayn ask curiously but an edge still evident in his voice. </p><p>"No, why?" </p><p>"That's his mum and sister" he says and I can tell he is trying to pick the right words. </p><p>"Harry said he hadn't seen them since he was 15" </p><p>Zayn looked at me surprised "You brought up his family and he's still your friend?<br/>I don't like the tone of voice he's using, like he's surprised Harry hadn't gotten rid of me yet.</p><p>"Yes. Why what happened with him and his mum and sister? Did they fight? " I'm getting frustrated by how smug he is.</p><p>"Louis, Harry's mum and sister, are dead" Zayn says looking at me with an unreadable expression on his face. </p><p>"What" I say. I feel like all the wind had been knocked out of me </p><p>Poor, poor Harry.</p><p>I hear a door close and both me and Zayn jump at the sudden noise.<br/>"Don't tell him you heard that from me"<br/>Zayn warned</p><p>"Why should I?" I say raising an eyebrow,</p><p>He doesn't have time to answer because the hall door is opening and Harry is emerging with damp Hair.</p><p>I quickly put the frame back on top of the fireplace where I found it.</p><p>"You are never going to be a friend to Harry, he doesn't let people in that easily" Zayn whispers as Harry is putting on his shoes.</p><p>"Yeah great friend you are, I bet your so generous you just let him top whenever he wants huh?" I sass</p><p>"You definitely got a keeper there Styles" Zayn scowls</p><p>"Ready Louis?" Harry asks with a smile ignoring Zayn's comment</p><p>I try my best to smile back but my stomach is churning at the thought that Harry has absolutely no family and can still manage to get up every morning. I don't think I'd be able to be that strong.</p><p>"Yep" I say popping the p on the end<br/>Harry grins and grabs my hand.</p><p>I send Zayn a glare as I close the door behind me.</p><p>I don't care what Zayn or anyone else says, thinks or does. I am going to be there for Harry Styles even if it kills me.</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. It Is What It Is Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>**********</p><p>"Ready Louis?" Harry asks with a smile  ignoring Zayn's comment.</p><p>I try my best to smile back but my stomach is churning at the thought that Harry has absolutely no family and can still manage to get up every morning. I don't think I'd be able to be that strong.</p><p> </p><p>"Yep" I say popping the p on the end <br/>Harry grins and grabs my hand.</p><p> </p><p>I send Zayn a glare as I close the door behind me.</p><p> </p><p>I don't care what Zayn or anyone else says, thinks or does. I am going to be there for Harry Styles even if it kills me.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>**********</p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>**********</p><p>Louis has been acting weird since I left him alone with Zayn.</p><p> What did that bastard say to him? What if Louis doesn't want to be my friend anymore? </p><p>I drag Louis over to a park bench and sit down. We need to talk.</p><p>"Hey Louis" I say consciously. His head immediately snaps up to look at me. "Why are you acting weird? Did I do something wrong? Just please be honest with me please." I ask desperately. Louis thinks for a second before saying, "I found something when I was in the living room waiting for you, and I'm just trying to digest it" Louis says carefully, watching me for my reaction.</p><p>"What is it Louis, please I don't know what Zayn said to you or why you would think I'd be angry with you, but please" I beg, I can't stand the way he's looking at me. With pity. Just like everyone else.</p><p>"I found a picture, a picture of your mum and your sister" I feel as if all the air has been knocked out of me. He knows. He--- "I'm so, so sorry Harry" Louis is looking at me worriedly.</p><p>It takes me a minute of concentrating on steadying my breathing before I decided what I should do from here.</p><p>"Yes, my mum and sister were in a car crash when I was 15. I was in the car. It was a stolen car. We had bought it from a friend. We didn't know. We were poor and Gemma needed a car to get to collage. The car was tampered with. The breaks had been cut. We crashed into a truck. Their legs were crushed. They couldn't get out. There was an oil leak. The engine exploded and the car set on fire. They told me to go, to leave them there, that they loved me very much, and not to let that bastard away with this." I said all this will no emotion on my face. As I finish I let a single tear fall quickly down my face, I wipe it away before Louis can see, But from the heart breaking expression he's giving me, I'm guessing he did see.</p><p>I look up at him and see a single tear fall from his eye. I made him cry. I'm such a disgusting, horrible person. Why do I always hurt the people I care about. I decide I need to make things right with him again. So I reach over and engulf his tiny body with my own. He rests his head on my shoulder and sobs. He keeps saying "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked"</p><p>"lt's fine Louis, It's all in the past now" I say trying to console the crying boy in my arms. I wait until his sobs become hiccups and his breathing evens out, I give him one last squeeze before I pull away.</p><p>I need time to think.</p><p>"Louis, I need some time to think. It's just a lot right now. It's not your fault at all and I'm so sorry I upset you, I'll ring you tomorrow OK?</p><p>Louis nods. "Your my best friend Harry"</p><p>I feel my heart melt at the boys innocence and sweetness. I just wanted to protect him from the harsh world. He was such a delicate flower.</p><p>"Your my best friend too Lou"</p><p>He smiles at me as I walk away.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. It Is What It Is Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>**********</p><p>"Louis, I need some time to think. It's just a lot right now. It's not your fault at all and I'm so sorry I upset you, I'll ring you tomorrow OK?</p><p>Louis nods. "Your my best friend Harry"</p><p>I feel my heart melt at the boys innocence and sweetness. I just wanted to protect him from the harsh world. He was such a delicate flower.</p><p>"Your my best friend too Lou"</p><p>He smiles at me as I walk away.</p><p> </p><p>**********</p><p>Louis' POV</p><p>**********</p><p>Harry doesn't ring me tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the next day.</p><p>I don't hear anything about Harry from anybody until 1 whole week later.</p><p>No one knows where he is, or where he went to. The last person to see him was me, that day at the park as he walked away with a smile on his face.</p><p>I had wanted to call the police a day after he went missing, but everyone including Liam had just said "Harry disappears all the time, It's fine he always comes back eventually"</p><p>I was In bed on my phone. When suddenly I had an incoming call from an unknown number. I answered it immediately hoping to god it was Harry.</p><p>It wasn't Harry.</p><p>"Hey Louis, I need you to come over, like now. Its about Harry" Zayn says. I jump straight out of bed, grab my coat and rush out the door. I arrive at Harry's flat 20 minutes later, out of breath, disheveled, and also still in my pajamas.</p><p>I banged on the door and was surprised to see that Zayn opened it not Niall. Zayn never answered the door. He always left it to Niall while he typed away on his phone with a serious expression in his face.</p><p>I barge my way past Zayn and into the living room.</p><p>He's here.</p><p>Harry is sitting on the couch with a nervous expression on his face.</p><p>I gasp when I see the state of him </p><p>"Harry, what happened??!!"</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. It Is What It Is Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>⚠ WARNING ⚠</p><p>MENTIONS AND DESCRIPTIONS OF SELF HARM.</p><p>!DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERED!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>⚠ WARNING ⚠</p><p>MENTIONS AND DESCRIPTIONS OF SELF HARM.</p><p>   !DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERED!</p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p>"Hi Lou" Harry's voice I'd even deeper than normal with a gravelly edge to it. I won't lie and say I don't find it totally sexy.</p><p>As usual my heart starts beating fast and butterflies erupt in the bottom of my stomach. After a week of not seeing Harry and worrying where he was, my feelings have only grown more, so much so I'm scared shitless that I'm going to fall for him. </p><p>He looks very uncomfortable with my presence. I look down and see he's sitting kind of slanted. Like he's in pain. Zayn walks over to him and pulls him up into a comfortable sitting position. He winces in pain, but tries to cover it up with a cough.</p><p>"Harry what happened" I ask urgently. "I'm fine, everything is f----" Harry is cut off by an angry Zayn who is not having any of his bullshit.</p><p>"Harry Edward Styles don't you dare try and Worm your way out of this. I think Louis of all people need a valid explanation for what happened. We made a deal styles and if you don't tell him I will" Zayn threatens.</p><p> </p><p>"What deal?" I ask confused. Harry gives Zayn a look that could knock anyone dead before turning to me and saying "I just had a little accident and I had to go to hospital, I told Zayn not to tell anyone because it was no big deal" Harry says carefully.</p><p> </p><p>Zayn looks just about ready to self implode as he yells "NO BIG DEAL! IF YOU THINK THAT YOU NEARLY DYING WAS "NOT A BIG DEAL" THEN I WILL PHYSICALLY DRAG YOU BACK TO THAT HOSPITAL MYSELF FOR A FUCKING BRAIN SCAN" Harry looks down guilty, meanwhile I'm trying to process all this new information.</p><p>Harry nearly died?</p><p>Zayn knew where Harry was the whole time and never told anyone? That bastard!</p><p> </p><p>"Now tell him the god damn truth or bloody hell Styles your gonna need more then the stitches they gave you" the look in Zayn's eyes is one that not even Harry wants to mess with.</p><p>Harry sighs before saying, "I got drunk and then—" Harry's voice breaks. He covers his face in his hands. He looks so broken. So ready to just give up.</p><p>"He cut himself until he almost bled out" Zayn finishes for him.</p><p>"You tried to kill yourself?" I whisper.</p><p>"Not intentionally. The doctors said if he were really trying to kill himself, he would have cut vertically because they can always stitch the horizontal ones, and by the amount of previous scarring he were definitely experienced enough to know that" Zayn says, his previous anger completely disappeared.</p><p>Harry's face is expressionless. Zayn and him share a look, that to most people would seem insignificant, but I saw the heavy meaning behind it. I see the way their eyes never left each other's in that split second. The way their eyes seemed to speak novels, how words weren't even needed. It's a beautiful thing to witness, two people who have that close of a bond with one another. It's like they are the only people in the room when they look at each other.</p><p>Oh how I wish it was me Harry was looking at with such love and intensity.</p><p>"I wasn't trying to die" Harry whispered his eyes still on Zayn.</p><p>"You were just trying to take away the pain" I say in a low voice.</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. It Is What It Is Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>**********</p><p>Previously.</p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p>**********</p><p>Louis POV</p><p>**********</p><p>"I wasn't trying to die" Harry whispered his eyes still on Zayn.</p><p>"You were just trying to take away the pain" I say in a low voice.</p><p>********</p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>**********</p><p>After that day Louis and I became a lot closer. </p><p>We spent every day and most of the every night together just talking and going places and getting to know each other and playing silly games and crying over rom coms damn I loved everything about him.</p><p> From the way he pouted when he couldn't reach something from the cupboard or whenever he get nervous and NEEDS physical contact with me. I love how I'm able to calm him down like that. </p><p>One gentle touch and suddenly he's relaxed.</p><p>We can't go anywhere without holding hands. So much so it's getting to Zayn. He and Perrie have been fighting over everything lately and I've been around less so he's really been missing the sex.</p><p>Louis hadn't mentioned the whole incident since it happened. But he had been checking up on me. Always asking if I'm OK. It's sweet how concerned he is but I hate it. I hate the way his eyes look at me with concern and his forehead creased in concentration. </p><p>It's just like the doctors Zayn has been making me see, mock concern spread across their faces, like they give a damn.</p><p>I want to tell him everything but I don't think me or him are ready just ready, in the meantime though I've really been enjoying learning more about him. His sisters and his Mum love me and Louis is absolutely chuffed. He acts offended when his Phoebe or Daisy or  tell me a 'Secret' and won't tell him. But I see the way his eyes are full of love and adoration as he watches Phoebe, Daisy and I play princesses.</p><p>Lottie, Fizzy and I have really in depth talks about everything. They are like my other best friends and I really admire how mature they both are for their age.</p><p>Daisy, Phoebe and I love giving each other makeovers! Or rather they love giving me makeovers. </p><p>Doris and Earnest will only eat their dinner for me and some nights I even get a call at  9:00PM at night from Louis or his Mum asking if I'll come over and put Doris or Earnest to bed.</p><p>Louis' family are the best, but Louis is special. </p><p>He is truly amazing. He cheers me up when I'm sad. He never noses in my business. He's clingy but not overbearing, just the right amount to make me feel loved.</p><p>I haven't slept alone since a week after the incident. </p><p>Louis showed up at my door wrapped in a baby blue blanket holding a cute little rabbit teddy bear and crying that he was afraid of the thunder.</p><p>I took him inside and got him a hot chocolate before tucking him up in my bed and slipping in beside him.</p><p>"I love you Harry" He whispered sleepily and my heart melted for the small boy now snuggled into my chest.</p><p>"I love you too Lou" He sighed before his breathing evened out and soft snores fell from his mouth.</p><p>Louis makes me feel, and I haven't felt in a long time. I just hope that he doesn't become too attached I don't want to break his heart, I won't be here for much longer after all.</p><p>TEXT FROM UNKNOWN:  Meet me at the old  scrap yard at 12:00pm tomorrow night, don't forget H, I don't fancy having to put your pretty ass back in that hospital ~ N</p><p>Yep, definitely won't be here for much longer.</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. It Is What It Is Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>**********</p><p>Louis makes me feel, and I haven't felt in a long time. I just hope that he doesn't become too attached I don't want to break his heart, I won't be here for much longer after all.</p><p>TEXT FROM UNKNOWN: Meet me at the old scrap yard at 12:00pm tomorrow night, don't forget H, I don't fancy having to put your pretty ass back in that hospital ~ N</p><p>Yep, definitely won't be here for much longer.</p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p>Louis' POV</p><p>**********</p><p>"Hey Louis, do you want to go to this party tomorrow night?" Harry asks, showing me his phone. </p><p>We were lying on the couch playing snap. I was winning and Harry was getting bored.</p><p>The last few weeks had definitely been eventful. We had gotten to get to know each other a lot better. There have definitely been some ups and downs. It took Harry a while to recover from the whole hospital ordeal and with my Christmas exams coming up I had been studying like crazy.</p><p>There have also been some embarrassing times, like that time Harry walked in on me getting off to him. That had definitely been fun!</p><p> </p><p>¡WARNING MATURE CONTENT!</p><p>(Flashback)</p><p>I was laid out on the bed, spread out like a starfish. My hips writhed as I pumped my rock hard dick at a steady pace.</p><p>"ahhhhh shitt Harryyy" </p><p>"Uh Louis" I hear in the distance. It sounds far away</p><p>"Mmmmm" I moaned, my voice strained. "Fuckkkkk" I could feel my balls tightening, a sign I was close. I gasped and moaned, my body jerking and writhing as I thrust my hips upwards looking for more.</p><p>"Louis!" I look up and meet a pair of wide emerald green eyes looking at me in shock, I don't even have time to think</p><p>"Holy fuck" I murmured, slowly rolling my hips. My orgasm hit me, hard. My body jerked and spasmed, writhing against the bed.</p><p>I lay on there on the bed, looking at the ceiling. I hear someone clear their throat. I looked up and mine and Harry's eyes meet. </p><p>"Ooops?" I say nervously, not bothering to cover myself, Harry had seen me naked more times then I probably knew, so I wasn't really bothered. </p><p>"Your Mum said to get ready for dinner, But I can just tell her your busy" Harry said with a wink., before he turned around and walked out the door. Leaving me speechless and also incredibly turned on that I had just come in front of Harry while maintaining eye-contact.....................</p><p>**************** </p><p>(Flashback 2)</p><p>Harry and I found a stray kitten and we've named her Dusty. She lives at Harry's flat mainly because she's scared of the twins! When Harry brings her over we have to keep her locked up in my room so the twins can't get to her.</p><p>Shes a cute little black Ball of fluff! But by far mine and Harry's favorite thing about her is her eyes. One is icy blue and the other, Emerald green. We were instantly in love with her from the moment we laid eyes on her.</p><p>Harry says she looks like me but I think she's the spitting image of him. Perry says we're both idiots because she looks like both of us combined with her green and blue eyes. She says we should have called he 'Larry' Because apparently its cute to blend peoples names together and  name their cats that.</p><p>Harry and I were walking through the park, hand in hand when we found her. We were talking about 50 shades of gray and if we would star in the movie if we had the chance. I said no, "Cause, I'm too much of a twink". Harry was laughing, when suddenly we heard a weak 'meow'. </p><p>"What was that?" I asked. Harry was also looking confused. We followed the sound to a bench at the side of the path. I peered underneath and saw a little bundle of fur, slightly quivering. At this point Harry was also looking under the bench. Suddenly the ball of fur moved and poked its head out, looking at us with such innocence it made my heart melt.</p><p>"AWWWW" Harry and I said simultaneously.</p><p>"His eyes" I whisper. "Green and blue" Harry said in awe.</p><p>*******************</p><p>Harry and I have gotten closer everyday and I seriously don't know what I did with my life before him. I've never had a best friend like him, Hell, I've never known anyone like Harry and I.</p><p>"Yeah, OK what time?" I ask. Placing down another card. An ace of Hearts.</p><p>"9.00, I'll pick you up from here and we can stay at mine" Harry grinned as he got a snap. He collected to cards back up and started decking them out again.</p><p>I know I shouldn't find my best friend decking out cards sexy. But I do.</p><p>"I can't wait" I say with a grin.</p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. It Is What It Is Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning Mature Content!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>!!!!Warning Mature Content!!!!</p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p>*Previously*</p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p>Louis' POV</p><p>**********</p><p>"9.00, I'll pick you up from here and we can stay at mine" Harry grinned as he got a snap. He collected to cards back up and started decking them out again.</p><p>I know I shouldn't find my best friend. Decking out cards sexy. But I do.</p><p>"I can't wait" I say with a grin.</p><p>************</p><p> </p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>**********</p><p>Its 4.00pm and Louis is heading home to get ready for the party later tonight. I offered to let him get ready here but he said he needed to tidy his room and pick up clothes as well so he may as well do both in one go.</p><p>I wave Louis away and close the door behind me.</p><p>"Hey Haz" I look over and see Zayn in the hallway. "Yeah?" I ask. "Can you blow me real quick?" Zayn asks and with any other person I would probably think they were trying to seduce me, but this is Zayn, he doesn't need to seduce me, he already has me</p><p>"Fine then get on the couch" I say with an unenthusiastic tone. Zayn does as I say and I pull down his trousers and boxers and get to work.</p><p>Its weird lately I've been less and less in the mood for random, meaningless sex and more in the humor for vulnerability and passion, something a random girl or guy I pick up at the bar can't ever give me.</p><p>"Harry" Zayn breaths. I smirk as I lick a fat stripe from the base his dick to the tip,  before taking his head between my lips. He groans and lets his hands run through my hair. I moan in response, I love having my hair pulled.</p><p>I bob my head and kept a steady rhythm with Zayn's moans and pants. He bites his bottom lip and grips my hair tighter.</p><p>"F-Fuck.." Zayn stutters while trying to stiffle a moan. I take him in my mouth all the way until I  feel the tip hit the back of my throat. I have no gag reflex, anyone I've ever given a blow job to before has loved being able to fuck my face as much as they wanted, Zayn especially enjoys this.</p><p>"You're so good at this." he pants. His face tinted red. He moves his position so he could watch me suck him off.</p><p>"You like that don't you?" Zayn speaks, moaning right after. "You like having my cock in your mouth. You like the feeling of my cum going down your throat." I moan against his dick, sending vibrations through his whole body. I continued to bob my head up and down at a steady pace enjoying how needed I felt in this moment.</p><p>Bzzzzzzzzzzzz</p><p>"You're so good, babe." Zayn continues ignoring the obvious buzzing that was coming from the kitchen, his head dipped back as he moans. </p><p>Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz</p><p>"Fuck," Zayn curses. "I'm gonna cum." I take my mouth off of Zayn's dick for a quick breather. A thick string of saliva connects my lips to Zayn's throbbing member. He looks down at me with hooded eyes.</p><p>Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz</p><p>"What're doing? Finish me and swallow my cum like the cum slut you are." he growls. I roll my eyes playfully before taking all of him back into my mouth, and a few seconds later I feel his cum shoot into my mouth. </p><p>"UGHHH FUCKK HARRY" Zayn yells as he comes hard. Zayn is definitely the loudest guy I've ever heard during sex.</p><p>"Hi Hazza I left my phone on the kitchen counter---"</p><p>I vaguely hear the door open but I'm too busy swallowing every last bit of Zayn's cum to process it, I pull away with a pop and look up at Zayn with a mischievous grin.</p><p>"What the fuck?"  I snap my head up and see Louis standing in the door with a horrified expression on his face. </p><p>Zayn ever the exhibitionist, just lies there completely unbothered by the whole thing.</p><p>"Ugh Louis get your bloody phone and get The fuck out, can't you see we're busy" Zayn groans dismissively.</p><p>"Louis---" I start. But he shakes his head and turns to run. I jump up and ignore Zayn's protest as I chase after him</p><p>I catch up. With him easily and I grab his shoulder. He whips around with his eyes blazing.</p><p> Woah. He was angry.</p><p>"Louis Look I'm sorry you had to see that---" he cuts me off and stares at me with such intensity I shrink back slightly.</p><p>"No, you listen to me Styles, I don't care who or what you fuck so just forget about it OK" he seethes his voice dripping with venom.</p><p>"BUT I wasn't----" he cuts me off again, brushing a thumb over my lips and making me lick it. </p><p>"The cum on your face says otherwise, See you tonight" and with that he turns around and walks away leaving me dumbstruck.</p><p>I wasn't exactly sure why he was so angry but I will find out, even if it kills me............</p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. It Is What It Is Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>**********</p><p>"No, you listen to me Styles, I don't care who or what you fuck so just forget about it OK" he seethes his voice dripping with venom.</p><p>"BUT I wasn't----" he cuts me off again, brushing a thumb over my lips and making me lick it.</p><p>"The cum on your face says otherwise, See you tonight" and with that he turns around and walks away leaving me dumbstruck.</p><p>I wasn't exactly sure why he was so angry but I will find out, even if it kills me............</p><p>********************</p><p>Louis POV</p><p>**********</p><p>I storm away, not looking back once.</p><p>He doesn't follow me.</p><p>I am FUMING!</p><p>How dare he!!!</p><p>How could he---</p><p>UGHHHH</p><p>I stomp into my house and pound up the stairs to my bedroom. I slam the door causing a picture of Harry and I to fall onto the floor, the glass of the frame shattering instantly. I crouch down to pick up the pieces of glass, my anger dissolving into sadness.</p><p>My vision becomes clouded, as I try my best to pick up the pieces of glass. I eventually stop trying and lean back against the door and let the tears that had been collecting in my eyes to flow free down my face.</p><p>I know I'm being selfish. I know I shouldn't care so damn much. Like I said, Its none of my business who harry sleeps with.</p><p>But I can't help it.</p><p>I'm angry.</p><p> I'm jealous.</p><p>Really REALLY fucking jealous.</p><p>Its so unfair that Harry gets to make me feel this way, that he has that kind of power over me.</p><p>I crawl over to where the picture of Harry and I is laying neglected on the ground. I brush away the broken pieces of glass and stare at our smiling faces.</p><p>Our arms are wrapped around each other and smiling. Harry is looking at the camera, his green eyes shining like emeralds. I on the other hand was looking at Harry, I have never noticed it before but I was looking at Harry as If he was the light of my life, as if he was the only thing keeping me there.</p><p>Niall had captured the moment perfectly and I feel a blush creep up my cheeks at how in love I look in this moment. I just wish that Harry felt the same way about me.</p><p>Wait.</p><p>What if I could try to make Harry fall for me?</p><p>It was worth a shot.</p><p>I must look FAB-U-LOUIS tonight, if I'm serious about this.</p><p>Ewwww I hate myself</p><p>But seriously..</p><p>Am I serious about this?</p><p>I'm texting Perrie.</p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. It Is What It Is Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>What if I could try to make Harry fall for me?</p><p>It was worth a shot.</p><p>I must look FAB-U-LOUIS tonight, if I'm serious about this.</p><p>Ew I disgust myself sometimes</p><p>Cringy</p><p>Am I serious about this?</p><p>I'm texting Perry.</p><p>**********************************</p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>After Louis left I wandered back home in a daze thinking about what the hell just happened. I open the front door and walk past Zayn who is still lying on the couch naked, watching 'Rupaul's Drag Race'.</p><p>"Want me to finish you off?" He offers not tearing his gaze from the TV. </p><p>"No thanks" I answer, before walking into mine, Perry and Zayn's shared bedroom. We couldn't afford a bigger place so we have to share. Niall gets the smallest bedroom which is why he is on his own.</p><p>There is only a double bed, bedside table and a small wardrobe full to the brim with all three of our clothes. There is always at least one of us out at a time so the bed situation has never been a problem. If one of us pulls someone the other 2 just sleep on the couch.</p><p>I lie on the bed, looking up at the cracks on the ceiling. </p><p>At 8.00pm I get up and take a shower before throwing on a pair of tight black skinny jeans and a striped black and white shirt. I put on my old worn Chelsea boots and a hat.</p><p>'This should be interesting' I think to myself as I light a fresh joint. Before closing the door behind me and heading for the party.</p>
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<a name="section0026"><h2>26. It Is What It Is Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>**********</p><p>Previously</p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>**********</p><p>'This should be interesting' I think to myself as I light a fresh joint. Before closing the door behind me and heading for the party.</p><p>***********************</p><p> </p><p>Louis POV<br/>***********************</p><p>"Its perfect"</p><p>"You look amazing Lou, Harry's going to drop dead at the sight of you" Perry squeals excitedly.</p><p>I'm wearing a baby pink cropped jumped with light blue jeans, fishnet tights underneath and to top it all off I'm wearing the cutest baby pink vans with embroidered roses on the sides.</p><p>I stare at my reflection in awe.</p><p>"I look-" I start</p><p>"FUCKING HOT" Perry finishes and we both giggle.</p><p>"I hope Harry is strong willed, which I know he isn't, because If I were him I'd fuck you hard" Perry states with a wink.</p><p>"Well that's the plan" I say with a determination audible in my tone.</p>
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<a name="section0027"><h2>27. It Is What It Is Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A/N I recommend listening to the song while reading ;)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>**********</p><p>Previously</p><p>**********</p><p>Louis POV</p><p>**********</p><p>I stare at my reflection in awe.</p><p>"I look-" I start</p><p>"FUCKING HOT" Perry finishes and we both giggle.</p><p>"I hope Harry is strong willed, which I know he isn't, because If I were him I'd fuck you hard" Perry states with a wink.</p><p>"Well that's the plan" I say with a determination audible in my tone.</p><p>************</p><p>The party is in full swing when I arrive, The main room of the huge house is full of sweaty people practically having sex on the dance floor. I shake my head in disgust.</p><p>"Too much for little Louis' virgin eyes" Someone whispers in my ear.</p><p>I spin around ready to kill whoever it is, only to find Liam standing behind me with a dopey smile on his face. He was obviously high.</p><p>"Hi Lima" I say.</p><p>"Looking for Harry?" He asks automatically.</p><p>The answer is yes but I restrain myself, I need to stick to the plan.</p><p>Harry needs to come to me.</p><p>"I don't need Harry" I say firmly, a slight aggression evident in my voice.</p><p>"Woah, OK Louis calm down I was only asking" Liam says defensively.</p><p>I feel guilty for snapping at him but not for long because suddenly none other than Harry Styles himself walks into the room.</p><p>"Mate your so whipped" Liam chuckles before disappearing into the crowd once again.</p><p>Harry must feel my stare because his eyes instantly turn to meet mine. He strides across the room towards me.</p><p>"Hey Louis" he says in a low raspy voice. He takes in my outfit his green eyes widening as looks me up and down a few times.</p><p>When his eyes finally meet mine his pupils are blown and his bright green eyes, now a dark dangerous green.</p><p>I also take in his outfit: skintight black jeans, stripy black and white shirts with Chelsea boots and possibly the sexiest hat I've ever seen, well I try convince myself that its the hat that sexy and not the person wearing it but I fail miserably.</p><p>"Woah" we say at the same time.</p><p>I roll my eyes and drag him to dance with me.</p><p>Lady Gaga 'Born this way' is playing and we dance chaotically, screaming the lyrics at the top of our lungs, we aren't drunk or overly high but yet we're having the best time ever.</p><p>"There's nothing wrong with loving who you are"<br/>She said, "'Cause he made you perfect, babe"<br/>"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,<br/>Listen to me when I say"</p><p>Harry twirls me around and I giggle.</p><p>I'm beautiful in my way<br/>'Cause God makes no mistakes<br/>I'm on the right track, baby<br/>I was born this way<br/>Don't hide yourself in regret<br/>Just love yourself and you're set<br/>I'm on the right track, baby<br/>I was born this way</p><p>I watch as Harry belts out the lyrics, his voice truly is beautiful, he sings the lyrics with so much passion, so much power as if he's telling the world that he was born this way, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.</p><p>Oh there ain't no other way<br/>Baby I was born this way<br/>Baby I was born this way<br/>Oh there ain't no other way<br/>Baby I was born this way<br/>I'm on the right track, baby<br/>I was born this way</p><p>Don't be a drag ‒ just be a queen</p><p>Harry shakes his hips and pumps his fists in the air</p><p>Don't be!</p><p>Wiggling his finger in my face, we burst out laughing.</p><p>Give yourself prudence<br/>And love your friends<br/>Subway kid, rejoice your truth</p><p>In the religion of the insecure must be myself, respect my youth</p><p>A different lover is not a sin<br/>Believe capital H-I-M<br/>I love my life I love this record and<br/>Mi amore vole fe yah.</p><p>Harry's sings the lyrics looking at me with such an intensity that I have to look away.</p><p>I'm beautiful in my way<br/>'Cause God makes no mistakes<br/>I'm on the right track, baby<br/>I was born this way<br/>Don't hide yourself in regret<br/>Just love yourself and you're set<br/>I'm on the right track, baby<br/>I was born this way</p><p>Oh there ain't no other way<br/>Baby I was born this way<br/>Baby I was born this way<br/>Oh there ain't no other way<br/>Baby I was born this way<br/>I'm on the right track, baby<br/>I was born this way</p><p>We're jumping around like fools but we're having too much fun to care.</p><p>Don't be a drag, just be a queen</p><p>Whether you're broke or evergreen</p><p>You're black, white, beige, chola descent</p><p>You're Lebanese, you're orient</p><p>Whether life's disabilities, Left you outcast, bullied, or teased</p><p>Rejoice and love yourself today. Cause baby you were born this way</p><p> </p><p>No matter gay, straight, or bi<br/>Lesbian, transgender life<br/>I'm on the right track baby<br/>I was born to survive<br/>No matter black, white or beige<br/>Chola or orient made<br/>I'm on the right track baby<br/>I was born to be brave</p><p>We scream those lyrics louder than all the rest. It feels like its the last night of our lives, like nothing else mattes because today seems ever lasting. I had a huge smile on my face, the plan momentarily forgotten</p><p>I'm beautiful in my way<br/>'Cause God makes no mistakes<br/>I'm on the right track, baby<br/>I was born this way<br/>Don't hide yourself in regret<br/>Just love yourself and you're set<br/>I'm on the right track, baby<br/>I was born this way</p><p>Oh there ain't no other way<br/>Baby I was born this way<br/>Baby I was born this way<br/>Oh there ain't no other way<br/>Baby I was born this way<br/>I'm on the right track, baby<br/>I was born this way</p><p>I was born this way hey!<br/>I was born this way hey!<br/>I'm on the right track baby<br/>I was born this way hey!<br/>I was born this way hey!<br/>I was born this way hey!<br/>I'm on the right track baby<br/>I was born this way hey!</p><p>same DNA, but born this way</p><p>"So do you forgive me" Harry asks suddenly nervous</p><p>Same DNA, but born this way</p><p>"Of course" I say with a grin.</p>
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<a name="section0028"><h2>28. It Is What It Is Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A/N I recommend listening to the song while reading ;)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>Louis POV</p><p>I was born this way hey!I was born this way hey!<br/>I'm on the right track baby<br/>I was born this way hey!<br/>I was born this way hey!I was born this way hey!<br/>I'm on the right track baby<br/>I was born this way hey!</p><p>same DNA, but born this way</p><p>"So do you forgive me" Harry asks suddenly nervous</p><p>Same DNA, but born this way</p><p>"Of course" I say with a grin.</p><p>**********************************************</p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>*************</p><p>After that Louis and I make our way out onto the terrace of the huge house. I light myself a fresh joint and slowly let the smoke consume me and calm my teetering nerves. Its less crowded out here. The lighting is dim and the atmosphere is calmer and more sensual, the song Yoko Ono by Moby Rich is playing at a low volume. I smile at Louis knowing how much he loves the series Atypical.</p><p>Louis looks truly breath taking and I don't know what to do about it. He's swaying his hips to the music with his eyes closed. I swallow hard to compose myself and take another drag of my joint. I had promised myself I'd stay more or less sober tonight, for Louis.</p><p>I'm shaken from my thoughts by Louis himself, grabbing the lit joint from my shaky grasp and taking a drag himself. </p><p>I gasp in shock. Louis doesn't smoke. Louis hates smoking. </p><p>"Mmm I see why you like these so much" Louis says. He's not high but he's definitely on something.</p><p>He starts sway his hips again only this time he grabs onto my waist and starts grinding on me. I bite back a moan as I try to untangle myself from his grasp.</p><p>'This isn't right, Louis is so innocent you can't fuck things up with him'</p><p>'But why does It feel so good?'</p><p>'It Is what it is' I think to myself</p><p>I'm so caught up in my thoughts I don't realize when another this time slower song comes on.  I hear the sound of soft sweet voice and turn to see Louis singing to me. "Don't try to make me stay, or ask if I'm ok, I don' have the answer"</p><p>"You're irresistible, H." Louis smiles slowly and then seems to get caught up in his own thoughts "Reminds me of you, so I'll always sing it to you," he continues. My heart stops and I pinch myself slightly to make sure I'm not dreaming and this is Louis saying these things to me.</p><p>"Midnight, doesn't last forever, dark turns to light. Heartache, flips my world around, I'm falling down, down, down, that's why," Louis sings and I find myself staring at him in awe, his voice is so captivating, everything about him is.</p><p>It's like there's no one else in the room, just me and Louis and I feel myself getting closer and closer to him, like he's sucking me in and I don't wanna fight back. It's a split second decision but in that moment I don't think of the pros and cons or the after I just close my eyes and  press Our lips together. He stiffens for one terrifying moment and I'm petrified I fucked everything up. But after a second he finally melts into my arms, moving his lips against mine and letting out a content sigh.</p><p>I move my  hands from Louis' waist to his neck, wrapping my arms around his back and pulling on his hair. He stiffens up at first, like he's shocked momentarily, but then less than a second later he moans into my mouth and before he melts into the kiss once more.</p><p>"It makes your lips, so kissable," Louis sings quietly, leaving our lips pressed together. He laughs childishly, kissing me  passionately.</p><p>"And your kiss, unmissable," I  join in, stroking my finger over the prominent cheekbone on Louis' face.</p><p>Louis grabs my giant hand in his tiny one, holding onto his pointer finger, much like a newborn child would, and dropping our hands down by our sides so they brush his hip.</p><p>"Your fingertips, so touchable," He breathes as I breaks the kiss. We look into each other's eyes, and it's night sky meeting dark forest, irises deeper in color.</p><p>"And your eyes, irresistible." Louis sings, his voice is almost inaudible now. I takes Louis by surprise, grabbing him by the waist and pulling him up so his thighs are wrapped around my waist. Louis squeaks, and then giggles as I pecks his nose.</p><p>"Harry... Please... Fuck... Me"  Louis begs, and just like that everything stops............</p>
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<a name="section0029"><h2>29. It Is What It Is Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning mature Content!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>**********</p><p>Harry POV</p><p>**********</p><p>Louis grabs my giant hand in his tiny one, holding onto his pointer finger, much like a newborn child would, and dropping our hands down by our sides so they brush his hip.</p><p>"Your fingertips, so touchable," He breathes as I breaks the kiss. We look into each other's eyes, and it's night sky meeting dark forest, irises deeper in color .</p><p>"And your eyes, irresistible." Louis sings, his voice is almost inaudible now. I takes Louis by surprise, grabbing him by the waist and pulling him up so his thighs are wrapped around my waist. Louis squeaks, and then giggles as I pecks his nose.</p><p>"Harry... Please... Fuck... Me" Louis begs, and just like that everything stops............</p><p>*********************************</p><p>Harry's POV continued</p><p>I  freeze and get off him. I don't think this is a good idea, it was bad enough that we were snogging just moments before. </p><p>Hell If Jay found out about this I would never be allowed to speak to him again. I wouldn't even make it out of the house alive. I'm also afraid that this will hurt Louis, I don't want to hurt him.</p><p>Louis crawls up beside me and begins to place kisses along my neck, "Please?" He begs. "I want to feel your cock inside of me so bad; I want to feel you." he whispers in my ear, nibbling on my earlobe before letting his hand trail down to my clothed  hard on and palming me through my ridiculously tight skinny jeans. </p><p>And fuck it I don't have the strength to say no.</p><p>"Come on Haz, for me?"</p><p>That's what really drives me over the edge, I don't care anymore. If Louis wants it, he was gonna get it.</p><p>I grab him by the waist and drag him up the stairs stumbling as we go. Our lips barley leaving one another's as we aggressively press against each other desperate for friction.</p><p>We make our way to the first vacant room and slam the door behind us.</p><p> I push Louis down on the mattress with force making his lips curve into a smile, happy that he had gotten what he wanted. I bend down and kiss him again again and nipping at his bottom lip, things aren't so sweet anymore, Louis is grabbing fistfuls of my hair and puling aggressively and rolling his hips against mine, I can feel how hard he is through his jeans.</p><p>I slip off his cropped jumper pinching his nipple as I do so, he gasps his eyes rolling back in his head and i almost lose it there and then hearing his breathy moans and whimpers. Our lips break apart for a moment as Louis pulls his jeans off revealing a pair of fishnet tights with pale baby blue silk panties that matched his eyes perfectly underneath, his angry red cock visible though the thin see-through material. I gaze at him in awe admiring his beauty for a moment, taking him in before throwing the jeans across the room and focusing on the task at hand. i look up at him and see he's watching me look at him, I can see the lust in his eyes and its only turning me on more. </p><p>I pull Louis in for a quick kiss leaving a trail of saliva connecting both our mouths as I pull away, I softly brush against his cock, causing him to buck his hips up, I can feel his hard on rub against my thigh. </p><p>Louis starts grinding our clothed cocks together as he moved his lips down to my neck, he finds my sweet spot in a matter of seconds and begins sucking and nipping the sensitive skin, leaving a necklace of purple love bites. "You're mine." He growls.</p><p>I nod holding my hips in place, "All yours."</p><p>I take control once again kissing down Louis' chest leaving four love bites around his neck and collar bone, I come to his nipples, letting my tongue swirl around them. I begin to suck on one of them making Louis grip my hair and moan in pleasure. </p><p>I kiss along his flat stomach, letting my tongue run along it. I smirk when I come down to Louis' V-line, but instead of taking off his fish net tights right away I lick his cock through the thin material making Louis go mad with my teasing. </p><p>I kiss and palm at Louis' prominent bulge before he screams at me to "Just get the bloody panties off Harry"  and i nearly cum on the spot hearing the need in his voice. </p><p>I tug off the tights and panties in one go. Before taking a moment to simply admire Louis, which is something I have never done before with anyone. I have of course seen him naked before, I've even seen him getting off for gods sake. But this, This is different. </p><p>The way his head the thrown back against the pillows in a state of need, a need for me. Sweat on his his upper lip, panting heavily. His rib cage protruding through his skin as he arches his back in pleasure. He cock, flush against his stomach so hard the tip is almost purple, a prominent vein running up the side. His pink hole clenching and unclenching in anticipation. The curve of his bum, and Finally I look back up to meet his bright blue eyes, full of an innocence that is so pure I have to look away from the sheer intensity of it.</p><p>I swirl my tounge around his tip licking off the beads of pre-cum collecting, I start out slow bobbing my head up and down, massaging Louis' balls as I go faster. Louis grips onto my hair pushing me down as far as I can go. </p><p>"Fuck, Haz... I'm going to cum..." Louis says in between pants.</p><p>I pull away completely, letting the cool air hit his throbbing erection, shaking my head, "No you're not, not until I say you can." I growl, dominance evident in my tone. Louis whimpers from the lost contact but weakly nods. "Be right back, we need lube, okay?" I get off the bed leaving Louis stark naked by himself, while I walk over to the my discarded jacket, reaching in the pocket to grab the lube I had brought just in case.</p><p> I walk back over and sit on the bed, I rip open the packet of lube and squeeze some onto my middle finger. I crawl back over to Louis and lift up his legs. "This is going to hurt baby." I whisper and he nods nodded biting his lip, "Tell me if you want to stop okay?"</p><p>"I won't, but okay... I just need you." I smile at that meeting Louis' eyes once more before focusing on the task.</p><p> Leaning over I pull Louis' cheeks apart before bending down and licking his hole. I blow on it making Louis cry out, I smirk as I kiss his hole before licking on it some more. </p><p>Louis pushes his arse into my face, trying to get the friction he is desperately longing for. This causes me to stick my tongue further inside of him. I have to push Louis' hands off, knowing he was going to lose it any second. "No babe." I say softly, I bite on my lip as I gently insert one finger into his hole, hearing hear Louis whimper I watch carefully as I add the second one, Louis' eyes are stinging with tears and I instantly stop moving. "Love, do you want me to stop?" I ask worriedly.</p><p>Louis' shakes his head, "No... Please.... I'm okay." I hesitate but nod, I silent agree that I won't fuck him, at least not tonight, not like this.</p><p>I continue until I'm knuckle deep inside his his tight arse. I curl my fingers up deep inside him causing Louis to gasp, I smirk knowing I found his prostate. "T-Th-Third..." Louis gasps. I put the third finger in and begin to thrust my fingers repeatedly hitting the same spot over and over again, Louis is screaming, his voice becoming hoarse.</p><p>"Mmmm FUCKK" Louis yells erotically throwing his head back in pleasure. Beads of sweat glisten on his perfect chest, he cums his whole body convulsing as he does, breathy moans escaping his beautiful lips.</p><p>I could cum from just the sight of him looking like this but I refrain.</p><p>Louis looks absolutely wrecked. I clean him up before tucking him into bed, I wank in the en suite before cleaning myself up, taking off my shirt and climbing wordlessly into bed beside Louis. He is fast asleep, soft breaths tickle my face and I giggle, he truly is beautiful.</p><p>I just hope that in the morning he doesn't regret this.</p>
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<a name="section0030"><h2>30. It Is What It Is Chapter 29</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>"Mmmm FUCKK" Louis yells erotically throwing his head back in pleasure. Beads of sweat glisten on his perfect chest. He cums his whole body convulsing he does, breathy moans escaping his beautiful lips.</p><p>I could cum from just the sight of him looking like this but I refrain.</p><p>Louis looks absolutely wrecked. I clean him up before tucking him into bed, I wank in the en suite before cleaning myself up, taking off my shirt and climbing wordlessly into bed beside Louis. He is fast asleep, soft breaths tickle my face and I giggle, he truly is beautiful.</p><p>I just hope that in the morning he doesn't regret this.</p><p>*****************************</p><p>Louis POV</p><p>I wake up with a sense of peace and calmness snuggled into a sleeping Harry. For a moment I I just lie there, allowing myself to properly wake up.</p><p>I yawn loudly, which causes Harry to stir. He turns over on his side and its then I realize we had been holding hands as we slept. I feel butterflies erupt in my stomach at the thought. I try move my arm, which is starting to go dead from the weird position. Harry sniffs,  wrapping himself around my arm and snuggling his face into my shoulder.</p><p>I coo at his cuteness. Harry's so adorable while he's sleeping and when he isn't too.  Lips gently pressed together, eyes delicately closed, breathing softly.</p><p>I look away, 'Its creepy to watch people when they're sleeping' I scold myself. I take a glance around the room and realize that we are not in Harry's room. </p><p>Its then everything comes flooding back.</p><p>"AHHHHH" I scream, causing Harry to jump in surprise and fall off the bed. "Wha?" Harry groans, rubbing his eyes sleepily.</p><p>Meanwhile I've backed myself into the furthest corner of the bed, pulling the covers up to my chin, willing myself to just disappear.</p><p>I see my phone on the side table. I grab it and turn it on only to see 4000 texts from Perrie. </p><p>From perrie: 'Hey Lou where are you'</p><p>From perrie: 'Did Harry like your outfit?'</p><p>From perrie: Louuu</p><p>From perrie: 'Where did you go?</p><p>From perrie: I just saw Harry</p><p>From perrie: LOU I JUST SAW YOU KISSING HARRY</p><p>From perrie: WHAT HAPPENED?</p><p>From perrie: YOU HAVE TO TELL ME</p><p>From perrie:  DID YOUR PLAN WORK?</p><p>My plan had definitely worked alright. </p><p>Its just a pity that I didn't think of the consequences earlier. </p><p>Harry has picked himself up off the ground and is cautiously at the foot of the bed looking nervous. His abnormally large hands are fidgeting with his rose ring. I shiver at the vivid memory of the coolness of the metal rings moving inside me.</p><p>The worst part of this isn't even the fact that Harry is my first kiss, never mind what happened later, no, its the fact that both of us were completely sober, a little high yes, but not enough to not know what we were doing.</p><p>"Lou, please don't let this ruin everything" Harry says looking stricken. "I know we need to talk about everything, and we will, but please don't do or say anything out of embarrassment or anger that you might regret later."</p><p>I take a deep breath before nodding. Harry is right, we need to talk this out. I don't want to lose Harry through something as stupid as uncontrollable emotions.</p><p>I slowly edge my way out the bed and walk over to Harry, blushing as I limp. Harry bites his lip, obviously noticing my limp, but chooses not to say anything.</p><p>I reach over and engulf Harry in a huge hug.</p><p>He doesn't ask any questions, doesn't hesitate or try to pull away. He simply hugs me tight, resting his head on top of mine and sighing,  like he understands completely.</p><p>I don't know how long we stand there, arms wrapped around each other. </p><p>Thinking.</p><p>I felt the same sense of calmness I felt when I woke up this morning, We would be OK. It was going to take some time but things would work out.</p><p>Wouldn't they?</p>
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<a name="section0031"><h2>31. It Is What It Is Chapter 30</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>Louis POV</p><p>*****************</p><p>I reach over and engulf Harry in a huge hug.</p><p>He doesn't ask any questions, doesn't hesitate or try to pull away. He simply hugs me tight, resting his head on top of mine and sighing, like he understands completely.</p><p>I don't know how long we stand there, arms wrapped around each other.</p><p>Thinking.</p><p>I felt the same sense of calmness I felt when I woke up this morning, We would be OK. It was going to take some time but things would work out.</p><p>Wouldn't they?</p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>*****************</p><p>"So..." Louis starts.</p><p>We're sitting in a small coffee shop on the corner of Golden way Road in the tiniest corner we could find. My long limbs crushed into the tight space. Louis is sitting across from me clutching a red Starbucks take-away cup full of Yorkshire tea , blowing away the steam with a concentrated expression on his face.</p><p>"So we need to talk about last night"  I say, in a questioning tone. </p><p>"I think we need to talk yesterday morning as well, we didn't get a proper chance to at the party yesterday" Louis says with a pained expression, looking down at his drink.</p><p>"Yeah, um so should you go first or me?" I ask, praying I don't have to start the conversation.</p><p>"I liked it" Louis blurts suddenly before blushing the same color red as his coffee cup.</p><p>I take moment to process this information before swallowing and saying "Does that mean you would want to do something like that again?" </p><p>His eyes widen, as if he was expecting me to laugh. He contemplates for a moment "Is that an offer?"</p><p>I'm taken aback by his direct confrontation but I nod anyway "I mean I enjoyed it too but we would have to discuss the ins and outs if we were to become 'Friends with Benefits', that is if you want to"</p><p>"Look, I'm gonna be honest with you but you have to promise you won't call off the offer if I tell you" Louis says looking worried.</p><p>"Yeah OK I promise" I say.</p><p>"I'm a virgin, yesterday was my first kiss" Louis admits looking thoroughly ashamed with himself.</p><p>"Really!?!" I say stupidly, causing Louis to stand up and grab his coat ready to leave.</p><p>"NO! I mean don't go. Lou" I say grabbing his sleeve and pulling him back down to his chair and whispering, "I don't care if you've slept with no one or everyone in this café, If you want to do this, I 100% do too."</p><p>Louis stares at me for what seems like a lifetime, looking into my eyes as if he's searching for something, something I desperately wish I can give him,  before he nods.</p><p>"OK then, we have a deal" He says allowing himself to smile.</p><p>"Great, we really do need to talk about it though, like make a proper deal" I say suddenly serious.</p><p>"Yes, we do"</p>
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<a name="section0032"><h2>32. It Is What It Is Chapter 31</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>*****************</p><p>Louis stares at me for what seems like a lifetime, looking into my eyes as if he's searching for something, something I desperately wish I can give him, before he nods.</p><p>"OK then, we have a deal" He says allowing himself to smile</p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>Harrys POV Continued</p><p>Louis turns up at my flat a few hours later with 2 pieces of A4 paper and a pen.</p><p>"Uh whats that?" I ask confused. </p><p>"A contract, for the friends with benifits thing."</p><p>"WRITTEN CONTRACT?" I ask, woah, it seems too official that way, like people who get married not friends with benifits. The whole point is that its a non official thing!</p><p>"Yep!" Louis says, popping the p. Its so cute, he's so cute....</p><p>He hands me the pages and we sit down on the couch so I can read it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES &amp; PRINCIPALS</p><p>Tick the preferred on each of the following:</p><p> </p><p>KINKS:</p><p>Bondage</p><p>knife play</p><p>BDSM</p><p>spanking ----  If yes please specify either giving or receiving</p><p>Breathplay </p><p>Roleplay</p><p>Orgasm control</p><p> </p><p>Others please specify</p><p>___________________________________________________</p><p> </p><p>Tick the preferred:</p><p>Role play such as:</p><p> Daddy/Princess   </p><p> Dom/Sub</p><p>Doctor/Patient</p><p> </p><p>Others please specify</p><p>___________________________________________________</p><p> </p><p>Positions:</p><p>Tick the preferred:</p><p> </p><p>The Cat</p><p>Riding</p><p>Waterfall</p><p>Doggy style</p><p>Bare Back</p><p>69</p><p>Bulldog</p><p>reverse bulldog</p><p>Cowboy</p><p> </p><p>Others please specify</p><p>___________________________________________________</p><p> </p><p>Tick each of the following you would like to par-take in</p><p>Oral Sex:</p><p>Rimming</p><p>fingering</p><p>Blow job</p><p>Anal</p><p>Mutual Maturbation</p><p>Delayed Orgasm</p><p>Toys</p><p>Nudes</p><p>Phone sex</p><p>Skype sex</p><p>Public sex </p><p>Sex in various places around the house. (Couch, bed, bath)</p><p> </p><p>Others please specify</p><p>___________________________________________________</p><p> </p><p>This agreement will automatically terminate on the end of a period of three months after signing. However, the contract can be extended by a further three months if both parties agree.</p><p>The parties will remain friends at the expiration of this contract.</p><p> Nothing that takes place under this contract will be mentioned to mutual friends.</p><p>Neither parties must not leave clothes, toothbrushes or other similar domestic items at each other's homes after any meeting.</p><p> The parties must not get jealous if either party start dating anyone else.</p><p> Early break clause</p><p>If either of the parties starts to find the agreement weird or uncomfortable, the agreement can be brought to an end with one week's notice. The party who terminates the agreement under the early break clause must buy the other party a drink to compensate for loss of expected benefits stipulated in the contract.</p><p> </p><p>The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder(s) of the agreement.</p><p>Participant 1:</p><p>Signature: ________________</p><p>Date: ____________________</p><p>Participant 2:</p><p>Signature: ________________</p><p>Date: ____________________</p><p> </p><p>"Uh, OK where the hell did you find this?" I ask, my eyes wide in shock. This was serious, Louis meant business.</p><p>"Google" Louis answered simply, blushing slightly.</p><p>I look at him for a good minute, just trying to figure him out.</p><p>"You better answer it, so we can compare" Louis is a blushing mess. I nod and quickly fill in the banks.</p><p> </p><p>A/N Louis answers are in Blue and Harry's are in green.</p><p> </p><p>KINKS:</p><p>Tick the preferred:</p><p>Bondage✔️☑️</p><p>knife play✔️☑️</p><p>BDSM ✔️☑️</p><p>spanking ---- If yes please specify either giving or receiving✔️☑️</p><p>Breathplay ✔️☑️</p><p>Roleplay✔️☑️</p><p>Orgasm control ✔️☑️</p><p> </p><p>Others please specify</p><p>Choking, sex toys ✔️☑️</p><p> </p><p>Role play such as:</p><p>Daddy/Princess✔️☑️</p><p>Dom/Sub</p><p>Doctor/Patient</p><p> </p><p>Positions:</p><p>Tick the preferred:</p><p>The Cat</p><p>Riding✔️☑️</p><p>Waterfall✔️</p><p>Doggy style</p><p>Bare Back✔️☑️</p><p>69✔️☑️</p><p>Bulldog</p><p>reverse bulldog</p><p>Cowboy✔️</p><p>Other_______________</p><p>Tick each of the following you would like to par-take in</p><p>Oral Sex✔️☑️</p><p>Rimming✔️☑️</p><p>fingering✔️☑️</p><p>Blow job✔️☑️</p><p>Anal✔️ ☑️</p><p>Mutual Maturbation  ✔️☑️</p><p>Delayed Orgasm✔️☑️</p><p>Toys✔️☑️</p><p>Nudes ✔️☑️</p><p>Phone sex✔️ ☑️</p><p>Skype sex</p><p>Public sex✔️✔️✔️   ☑️</p><p>Sex in various places around the house. (Couch, bed, bath)✔️☑️</p><p>Spanking✔️✔️✔️☑️☑️</p><p>Hair pulling ✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️☑️</p><p>Any other notes:</p><p>_______________________________________________________________</p><p>This agreement will automatically terminate on the end of a period of three months after signing. However, the contract can be extended by a further three months if both parties agree.</p><p>The parties will remain friends at the expiration of this contract.</p><p>Nothing that takes place under this contract will be mentioned to mutual friends.</p><p>Neither parties must not leave clothes, toothbrushes or other similar domestic items at each other's homes after any meeting.</p><p>The parties must not get jealous if either party start dating anyone else.</p><p>Early break clause</p><p>If either of the parties starts to find the agreement weird or uncomfortable, the agreement can be brought to an end with one week's notice. The party who terminates the agreement under the early break clause must buy the other party a drink to compensate for loss of expected benefits stipulated in the contract.</p><p>The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder(s) of the agreement.</p><p>Participant 1:</p><p>Signature: Harry styles</p><p>Participant 2:</p><p>Signature: Louis Tomlinson</p><p> </p><p>"I'm guessing your into public sex then" Louis says gesturing the the multiple ticks I had put beside the box, "And Hair pulling"</p><p>"Well you seem to be into spanking and toys so I wouldn't judge, fuck though just the thought of me spanking you is already turning me on" I say winking.</p><p>"I haven't actually done any of this, I've just heard they were good and want to try them out" Louis admits looking ashamed.</p><p>My heart melts a his innocence before I say "I plan on going slow, just so you can get used to it" He nods thankful before asking "When did you have sex for the first time?" </p><p>My heart stops and  I fight back an unneeded flashback I swallow deeply and shudder slightly before I smile at him saying "15" before I change the subject to Christmas. Louis happily starts talking about what he's getting his sisters for Christmas and I listen as hard as I can trying not to focus on my memories. </p><p>I hate Christmas. Its just a sore reminder of everything I've lost. I hate myself for being so jealous of people who get to celebrate Christmas with their families, I'm happy for everyone who gets that opportunity but I can't help feeling bitter about my own loneliness when everyone is gone home for Christmas and its just me in my own pool of self pity</p><p> It never does get any easier</p>
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<a name="section0033"><h2>33. It Is What It Is Chapter 32</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>*****************</p><p>My heart melts a his innocence before I say "I plan on going slow, just so you can get used to it" He nods thankful before asking "When did you have sex for the first time?" </p><p>My heart stops and  I fight back an un needed flashback I swallow deeply and shudder slightly before I smile at him saying "15" before I change the subject to Christmas. Louis happily starts talking about what he's getting his sisters for Christmas and I listen as hard as I can trying not to focus on my memories. </p><p>I hate Christmas. Its just a sore reminder of everything I've lost. I hate myself for being so jealous of people who get to celebrate Christmas with their families, I'm happy for everyone who gets that opportunity but I can't help feeling bitter about my own loneliness when everyone is gone home for Christmas and its just me in my own pool of self pity</p><p> It never does get any easier</p><p>*****************</p><p>A/N I'm gonna separate this chapter into 2 Parts so Its not to long, thanks for reading!!!</p><p>*~A~*</p><p> </p><p>Louis' POV</p><p>The first time we put our contract to use is 3 days later. </p><p>Harry's in the shower and I'm in the kitchen trying my best to make pancakes for us, but it's not exactly working out the way I  planned. The flour is all over the floor and the egg shells I have only just cracked have somehow ended up in the mixing bowel. I pour what's left of the flour into an ancient looking electric mixer that looks like its never been used  and turn the knob clockwise a few notches. I flick a red switch and leave that to mix while I go and get a brush to clean up the annoying flour that's ended up on the floor. </p><p>I grab the brush from under the stairs and make my way back to the kitchen, I pass by the bathroom and hear Harry's still in the shower, I roll my eyes, Niall went mad at Harry the other day for raking the water-bill up to an impressive £200 and Harry denied point blank that it was him, even blaming Niall himself! According to Perrie later that day Harry and Zayn were in there (The shower) and Niall called the landlord of the whole apartment block and got the water for their apartment turned off! Apparently Zayn was FUMING and stormed down to reception in just a towel demanding the water be switched back on, he had to stand out in the cold and turn the water back on himself at the mains because the landlord told him it was his weekend 'Off'. Harry just sat there completely at ease laughing at Zayn's anger and Niall's frustration.</p><p>I walk back into the kitchen laughing but immediately stop when I see that the ancient mixer has somehow started to smoke!</p><p>"AHHHH" I scream grabbing the fire extinguisher from the wall and spraying the white foam  blindly around the place. I vaguely hear someone shouting, and then Harry's taken the fire extinguisher from my flour covered hands and sprays it right at the ancient mixer until it can no longer be seen, hidden under the white foam.</p><p>I glance at Harry and see he's only in black jeans, his hair still wet and the muscles on his back tensing and relaxing as he lifts the discarded extinguisher from the flour and now foam cover ground.</p><p>He looks up at me and as soon as my dull blue eyes meet his bright emerald green ones, we burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. Tears are streaming from my eyes as I struggle to breath.</p><p> After a few minutes we finally calm down and Harry rings some friend of his who he says 'Is a cleaner who owes me a favor'. He chats away to this 'cleaner friend' and I soon realize that my clothes are absolutely destroyed with flour, eggs, foam and lord only knows what else, I quickly strip off, suddenly regretting my genius idea to go commando today.</p><p>"Yeah, 5 o'Clock today sounds OK, you know the address yeah" Harry chats away as I awkwardly stand their waiting for him to hurry the hell up up so I can ask him if I can borrow his clothes, its getting embarrassing because I'm starting to get Hard from just the look of a half naked Harry standing there soaking wet. "Yeah, just the kitchen I've had a bit of accid----- HOLY SHIT" I look up and see Harry staring at me with the same look as that night at the party that I instantly recognize as lust. I'm not an expert on lustful eyes as I've never had anyone look at me like they like me, like they wanted me.</p><p>Harry seems to snap out of whatever trance he was in and quickly gets off the phone from 'cleaning friend' and strides over to me not once breaking our intense stare.</p><p>"Shower, now" He growls, before he picks me up bridal styles and carries me to the bathroom.</p>
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<a name="section0034"><h2>34. It Is What It Is Chapter 33</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning Mature content!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>Louis POV</p><p>*****************</p><p>"Yeah, 5 o'clock today sounds OK, you know the address yeah" Harry chats away as I awkwardly stand their waiting for him to hurry the hell up up so I can ask him if I can borrow his clothes, its getting embarrassing because I'm starting to get Hard from just the look of a half naked Harry standing there soaking wet. "Yeah, just the kitchen I've had a bit of accid----- HOLY SHIT" I look up and see Harry staring at me with the same look as that night at the party that I instantly recognize as lust. I'm not an expert on lustful eyes as I've never had anyone look at me like they like me, like they wanted me.</p><p>Harry seems to snap out of whatever trance he was in and quickly gets off the phone from 'cleaning friend' and strides over to me not once breaking our intense stare.</p><p>"Shower, now" He growls, before he picks me up bridal styles and carries me to the bathroom.</p><p>********************</p><p>A/N Hi guys I'm gonna write this in the 3rd person so hopefully you don't get to confused :)</p><p>*~A~*</p><p>************************</p><p>!!!!!!!WARNING MATURE CONTENT READ WITH CAUTION!!!!!!</p><p>Harry carries Louis to the bathroom and as gently as possible, he tries to place him into the shower.</p><p>Louis seems to have other plans though,  sinking his teeth into Harry's bottom lip, causing Harry to let out a gasp because of course Louis is playing dirty; he's already proven what a dirty boy he is.</p><p>Harry groans as Louis snakes his tongue into the other boy's mouth, Louis massages his tongue against Harry's. Upon deciding that he is indeed ready to get wet, he scoots his bum forward more, wrapping tan legs around Harry's waist and squeezing meaningfully. Harry lets out a strangled moan as he feels Louis' rock hard member against his bare stomach.</p><p>Harry smiles lifting Louis up off the counter without breaking the kiss, an arm going around the back of Louis's upper thighs and the other snakes around Louis's back, holding him close.</p><p>Harry makes his way over to the shower, doing his best to open the curtain without letting Louis go. In the end, he has to hope Louis's clutching on tightly enough to him as he moves an arm to open the shower. Immediately, the two boys are surrounded by steam, and the way that Louis's rutting against Harry and making small keening noises only ensures that things are only going to get hotter.</p><p>Shutting the door, Harry presses Louis up against the shower wall, earning a loud groan from the beautiful boy clutching onto him for dear life. Louis moans, as Harry bites and nips at the sensitive skin of Louis' neck. "Fuck, Harry," he says breathlessly in between moans.</p><p>Harry's jeans are getting wet, sticking to him and restricting his throbbing hard on uncomfortably. He lets go of Louis for a second and peels off his jeans, making sure to leave his boxers on, he tells himself its because he doesn't want to push Louis into anything, but his Conscious tells him its to hide the fresh cuts from his shower earlier.</p><p>Harry looks up in a way that's almost too innocent for the situation from where he's been laying claim to Louis's body, biting his lip suggestively. Standing up straight, Harry presses close so he and Louis's chests are pressed flush together, Harry's clothed member rubbing up against Louis exposed one. Both boys moan at the friction, the smaller one tossing his head back and parting his lips, water spray hitting against his beautiful skin.</p><p>Harry watches, enchanted, for a moment as water droplets make their way from different directions down Louis's body. Some move gracefully down Louis's face, dripping off his nose, down his cheeks and continuing on down his neck, or reaching pink lips and sliding off his bitten bottom lip. Other drops slide down Louis's neck and down to where toned chests press against each other. Harry sort of wishes he could be a drop of water right now.</p><p>Snapping himself out of his daze, Harry seems to suddenly remember what he's doing. Reaching a large hand between their bodies Louis length in one hand, squeezing gently and pulling a filthily pornographic moan from his the blue eyed boy. Smirking, he slowly begins moving his hands up and down, squeezing at his base. Those beautifully precious drops of water act as lube, making the friction more bearable and a whole lot more pleasurable.</p><p>Noises are now coming from two mouths as Harry works his hand, palming himself through the thin material of his soaked boxers while simultaneously moving his hand up and down doing little things with his hand that he knows will drive Louis absolutely crazy. Pumping more quickly, Harry watches with concentrated green eyes as Louis' whines, squirming a little until he's whining out something about coming soon and no; that won't do, Harry thinks</p><p>Harry pauses his hand movements, prompting blue eyes to fly open and Louis's head to snap back up, eyes questioning and accusing.</p><p>"I want your dick in my mouth when you come, Lou," Harry states, his explanation simple, dropping to his knees and places his hands on those delicious thighs. Louis nods his eyes rolling back in pleasure at the thought of what was to come.</p><p>The water continues to pour down, and Harry knows it'll be hard to look up at Louis while he works his mouth over his beautiful length, but knowing how much noises and pleasure Louis will get from this spurs Harry to start the process of getting Louis to come undone with a kitten lick that's far more innocent than it really should be. Quickly, he moves on to licking the underside of the shaft, looking down in order to keep the water from directly hitting his eyes.</p><p>"Harry," Louis moans out, hand going to grip a handful of curls as the straight haired boy watches the curly-haired boy do his work.</p><p>Harry doesn't waste anymore time from here out. Opening his mouth, Harry wraps his plump red lips around Louis's pulsing dick, sliding down the length until he feels the tip hit the back of his throat. Moaning, Harry moves up a little, hollowing out his cheeks and sucking a little.</p><p>Louis whimpers, gripping Harry's hair a bit more roughly. Not that Harry has any complaints or anything. It's sexy when Louis's rough.</p><p>Bobbing his head up and down, Harry keeps working his gorgeous mouth, swallowing when he goes especially deep. He can tell he's driving Louis mad from the way the boy's thighs are quivering and getting all tense. It only prompts Harry to properly deep throat the boy, earning a loud yelp.</p><p>"Fuck, Hazz, I-I'm not gonna last," Louis whines out, panting.</p><p>Harry says nothing in reply, instead swallowing and moving a hand to squeeze at Louis's balls, fondling them with his hand in a way that derives pleasure without being too much and causing Louis pain.</p><p>Louis lets out and appreciative noise before, with one last, moan that sends vibrations coursing through his cock from Harry, Louis comes down the other boy's throat, screaming out Harry's name. Harry, being the good boy he is, swallows Louis's load greedily, sucking the boy dry before pulling his mouth off with a popping noise.</p><p>Louis looks down to see Harry looking up at him with a dazed expression, obscenely red lips parted partially and eyes half-closed. He groans, lifting Harry up onto his feet, kissing him hungrily before placing a dainty hand over Harry's very noticeable bulge. Rubbing his hand quickly up and down against Harry's clothed member, Louis jacks Harry off until the boy's before pressing himself again Louis and coming so hard he sees stars, head lolling forward and lips mouthing hotly against the skin on Louis's shoulder.</p><p>The two take a moment to catch their breath before Louis tips Harry's head up with his finger, water running down their bodies as their eyes meet.</p><p>"You don't need to ask to borrow my clothes, you can just take them" Harry says breathlessly and Louis laughs in spite of his dizziness.</p>
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<a name="section0035"><h2>35. It Is What It Is Chapter 34</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>3rd person POV</p><p>*****************</p><p>The two take a moment to catch their breath before Louis tips Harry's head up with his finger, water running down their bodies as their eyes meet.</p><p>"You don't need to ask to borrow my clothes, you can just take them" Harry says breathlessly and Louis laughs in spite of his dizziness.</p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>Louis' POV</p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>The past few weeks have been absolutely mental.</p><p>Between my school finals and mine and Harry's arrangement, things have been more than busy.</p><p>Harry and I's agreement has been working perfectly. I haven't done anything to him yet and we haven't gotten as far as sex, but he's been definitely keeping me satisfied let's put it that way.</p><p>I've been studying like mad the past few weeks and the only thing keeping me sane has been Harry.</p><p>I'm basically living at his place at the moment and my mum doesn't mind the extra room in the house at all, and Harry sure isn't complaining.</p><p>Zayn and Perrie have been sharing the couch and Harry and I have the bedroom. My Mum agreed to let me stay with him because she knows how well Harry takes care of me and she knows that when I'm 18 in a few months i plan on moving into a flat with Harry anyway.</p><p>Niall offered Perry his bed but she refused, her and Zayn have been 'Dating' recently, also known as Zayn trying to get in Perrie's pants and Perrie saying no until they commit properly to each other.</p><p>Zayn to his credit, has not stopped taking her on dates and treating her like the queen she is, I just hope it lasts.</p><p>Harry's been treating me so well. Cooking my meals and getting the things I need sorted for the next day.</p><p>He's also amazing at relaxing me and taking my mind off the stress of exams. Bringing me doughnuts and taking me on jogs, running me baths and singing me to sleep. I seriously don't know what I'd do without him.</p><p>We talk about everything, well almost everything , Harry's still finding it hard to talk about his past but is enjoying talking about mine.</p><p>We talk about our fears and our dreams, anything and everything we can think of, all while lying on the small single bed in our room. Looking up at the cracked ceiling.</p><p>We never run out of things to talk about. We just... Fit. I can't explain it.</p><p>I respect him so much and he is such a kind, gentle, generous, caring, beautiful person and he deserves the world. He respects my boundaries and is always OK with not pushing me furthered than I'm comfortable with, "I'll wait for you forever boo" he says before kissing me on the nose and snuggling into me.</p><p>He's so perfect he almost doesn't seen real.</p><p>He's like a porcelain doll. So precious yet so incredibly delicate it scares me. I'm afraid that if I look at him too long, savoir the moment more then I should, he'll break into a thousand unfixable pieces and I'll lose him for ever..</p><p>I'm falling and I can't escape it.....</p>
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<a name="section0036"><h2>36. It Is What It Is Chapter 35</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>Louis' POV</p><p>*****************</p><p>We talk about our fears and our dreams, anything and everything we can think of, all while lying on the small single bed in our room. Looking up at the cracked ceiling.</p><p>We never run out of things to talk about. We just... Fit. I can't explain it.</p><p>I respect him so much and he is such a kind, gentle, generous, caring, beautiful person and he deserves the world. He respects my boundaries and is always OK with not pushing me furthered than I'm comfortable with, "I'll wait for you forever boo" he says before kissing me on the nose and snuggling into me.</p><p>He's so perfect he almost doesn't seen real.</p><p>He's like a porcelain doll. So precious yet so incredibly delicate it scares me. I'm afraid that if I look at him too long, savoir the moment more then I should, he'll break into a thousand unfixable pieces and I'll lose him for ever..</p><p>I'm falling and I can't escape it.....</p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>*FROM UNKNOWN*</p><p>I'm back babyy ;)</p><p>I drop my my phone onto the carpet in shock. </p><p>'Nononononononononononononono' I say to myself, running a hand through my hair. I look down to see a sleeping Louis in my arms, who's starting to stir. I hold my breath for what sees like ages until he settles again, snuggling back down into the crook of my neck, his feathery brown hair tickling my nose.</p><p>Every time I try to move Louis nearly wakes up. I can't wake him. He'll ask what's going on. I can't lie to him. Well more than I already have....</p><p>He needs his sleep. He doesn't need me waking him up because of my stupid problems. His hair keeps tickling my nose! I'm gonna -------------- </p><p>ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!</p><p>Louis jumps up like he's been shot, wobbling and trying to steady himself by grabbing onto the bedsheets. I keep sneezing so I can't grab him without  sneezing all over him.</p><p>He falls off and hits the carpeted floor with a loud THUMP!!!! </p><p>"SHITTTTTTTTTT" he curses as he lies on the ground in shock. </p><p>"ACHOOOOOOOO" I sneeze.</p><p>Suddenly the door bursts open and Zayn comes in looking worried. </p><p>"GET THE FUCK OUUUT!!" Louis screams and I'm surprised by his outburst until I realize that he's still naked after the pre-nap events that had taken place.</p><p>I throw Louis the blanket and he quickly covers himself while I grab a tissue and blow my nose.</p><p>Zayn just stands there with a confused look on his face while he watches us. "I was gonna ask what the fuck was happening here but now I'm not sure I wanna know"</p><p>Louis looks down biting his lip and blushing. I can't seem to find it in me to laugh. I still feel sick to my stomach after reading that text.</p><p>He's back......</p>
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<a name="section0037"><h2>37. It Is What It Is Chapter 36</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>*****************</p><p>Suddenly the door bursts open and Zayn comes in looking worried.</p><p>"GET THE FUCK OUUUT!!" Louis screams and I'm surprised by his outburst until I realize that he's still naked after the pre-nap events that had taken place.</p><p>I throw Louis the blanket and he quickly covers himself while I grab a tissue and blow my nose.</p><p>Zayn just stands there with a confused look on his face while he watches us. "I was gonna ask what the fuck was happening here but now I'm not sure I wanna know"</p><p>Louis looks down biting his lip and blushing. I can't seem to find it in me to laugh. I still feel sick to my stomach after reading that text.</p><p>Hes back...... </p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>Louis' POV</p><p>*****************</p><p>Harry's been acting weird lately. He won't meet my eyes when we kiss. He keeps disappearing and won't tell me where he's been. He never smiles.  He seems to be smoking more and more and he won't stop even when I ask him too, he usually always stops for me. I'm really worried, hell even Zayn's worried. </p><p>Zayn and I have been talking a lot more and we may not be close, or even consider each other friends, but its been nice to have someone who knows Harry way better than me to talk to. Zayn and Harry have been friends since they couldn't even talk and he knows everything there is to know about Harry, and I can tell he really cares. So much so Its taking a strain on his and Perrie's relationship. </p><p>They had a HUGE fight the other day, and still aren't talking. Zayn and Perrie NEVER fight, and I mean ever. Zayn dotes on Perrie and may argue back sometimes but he always gives in in the end to make her happy. So the fact that they still aren't talking after 3 days is definitely a sign that things are bad.</p><p>"I'm really worried about him mate, he hasn't been like this since--" Zayn cuts himself off looking down at his lap.</p><p>"Since what?" I press.</p><p>"Since no one, I mean nothing" Zayn says before he covers his eyes with his hands, realizing he messed up.</p><p>So its a Someone. </p><p>Someone's making Harry feels this way, and they've done it before. Have I met them? Has Zayn met them. </p><p>Who are they.</p><p>and who would want to hurt Harry?</p><p>I'm about to pester Zayn for answers when suddenly Harry bursts through the door, his hair messed up and his eyes glassy, he smells of sex.</p><p>and that's when I realize he's not alone.</p><p>"Well hello Louis" They say with a sly grin.</p>
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<a name="section0038"><h2>38. It Is What It Is Chapter 37</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>Louis' POV</p><p>*****************</p><p>So its a Someone. </p><p>Someone's making Harry feels this way, and they've done it before. Have I met them? Has Zayn met them. </p><p>Who are they?</p><p>and who would want to hurt Harry?</p><p>I'm about to pester Zayn for answers when suddenly Harry bursts through the door, his hair messed up and his eyes glassy, he smells of sex.</p><p>and that's when I realize he's not alone.</p><p>"Well hello Louis" They say with a sly grin.</p><p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>*****************</p><p>"Nick" Louis spits, his face is flaming red.</p><p>I've never seen him this angry.</p><p>I look between Louis and Nick in confusion. If looks would kill they would both be dead by now. </p><p>"You two know each other?" Zayn says, breaking the tense silence.</p><p>"Oh me and Lewis go waaaaayyy back" Nick says with a sickening smile.</p><p>"You shut the Fuck up Grimshaw, the last thing anyone wants to hear is your voice" Louis says in a low, dangerous tone.</p><p>"Harry here sure seems to love my voice, don't you babe" Nick says turning to face me.</p><p>Louis stares at me with a look of pure disgust and hatred. I stumble back towards the door. The only thing that's running through my mind is:</p><p>Louis hates you.<br/>Louis hates you!<br/>Louis hates me.</p><p>I'm too high for this.</p><p>My head is spinning.</p><p>I cover my mouth with my hand as tears fill my eyes.</p><p>"Harry where have you been" Louis asks. I can't even look at him. I cant look up into those beautiful blue eyes and tell him the truth. </p><p>How can I tell him, but how can I not?</p><p>I don't have to consider my options for long however, as Nick is more than happy to share.</p><p>"Well let's just say, there was not a lot of talking involved, at least for Harry." Nick's laughs doing a blow job gesture.</p><p>I run my hands through my hair and let out a sigh. This is not going to end well.</p><p>There's a loud bang and I look up to see Louis slam his tea into the glass coffee table, shattering the mug and cracking the glass.</p><p>"FUCK" he yells.</p><p>He storms towards me before stopping to look into my eyes. His once ocean blue eyes are now grey like a thunder storm, I can see he's trying to hold back tears and I'm sure he can see i am too by the way his eyes soften, but only for a split second.</p><p>He pushes past me and reaches for the door handle.</p><p>I grab onto his wrist in desperation. "Lou, please" I say my voice cracking.<br/>He stares at me for a long time, like he's searching my eyes for something I so desperately want to give him.</p><p>Louis looks away and walks out the door, slamming it behind him.<br/>I slide all the way down to the floor, so I'm sitting with my knees hugged to my chest as tears fall from my eyes.</p><p>"I love him" I whisper.</p><p>"What?" Nick says</p><p>"I love Louis Tomlinson" I say, this time with more force.</p><p>"HAHAHA" Nick laughs "You fool! No one could ever Love you Harry Styles! Your just an unlovable slut!" Nick spits with another cruel laugh.</p><p>"Nick, shut. the. fuck. up." I look up to see Zayn now eye to eye with Nick, shoulders squared menacingly.</p><p>"Harry, Go" Zayn says.</p><p>"What?" I ask confused</p><p>"Go after him, Don't let him go" he says in a low but firm voice</p><p>"What if i lose everything?" </p><p>"You have nothing to lose because Louis is your everything"</p><p>I look up at Zayn and see tears brimming in his chocolate brown eyes.</p><p>I nod and suddenly I completely understand. He wishes he had gone after Perrie before he lost her for good.</p><p>She is his everything. And Louis is mine.</p><p>"I will, but only if you do to" I Challenge.</p><p>"Someday mate, someday" he answers sadly.</p><p>Nick is looking at us with a  look of confusion and anger. I stand up and reach for the door handle, I turn around and look back at Nick before saying:</p><p>"Your wrong, I'm not unlovable. I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for who I do not deserve, but someone like you wouldn't know what that feels like, would you?"</p><p>I slammed the door behind me before Nick could say anything.</p><p>I will find Louis and I will tell him how I feel.</p><p>Because everything is hanging in the balance.</p>
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<a name="section0039"><h2>39. It Is What It Is Chapter 38</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>***********</p><p> </p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>***********</p><p>"Go after him, Don't let him go" he says in a low but firm voice</p><p>"What if i lose everything?"</p><p>"You have nothing to lose because Louis is your everything"</p><p>I look up at Zayn and see tears brimming in his chocolate brown eyes.</p><p>I nod and suddenly I completely understand. He wishes he had gone after Perrie before he lost her for good.</p><p>She is his everything. And Louis is mine.</p><p>"I will, but only if you do to" I Challenge.</p><p>"Someday mate, someday" he answers sadly.</p><p>Nick is looking at us with a look of confusion and anger. I stand up and reach for the door handle, I turn around and look back at Nick before saying:</p><p>"Your wrong, I'm not unlovable. I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for who I do not deserve, but someone like you wouldn't know what that feels like, would you?"</p><p>I slammed the door behind me before Nick could say anything.</p><p>I will find Louis and I will tell him how I feel.</p><p>Because everything is hanging in the balance.</p><p> </p><p>***********</p><p> </p><p>Louis POV</p><p>***********</p><p>I run to the only place I can think straight.</p><p>The park where Harry and I spent all those long summer days talking about everything and anything, the same park we found dusty.</p><p>I practically collapse against the tree and begin sobbing immediately, I'd been holding back the tears ever since Harry walked in that door with Nick in tow.</p><p>How could he do this to me? How long had this been going on? Did harry only agree to be my friend because Nick put him up to it? What I'd everything was a set up, the bar, the whole FWB thing, hell even finding Dusty might have been a set up. I wouldn't put it past Nick.</p><p>How can Harry do this to me?</p><p>'He doesn't know what Nick did to you' I reason. 'But he saw how Nick acted there and never said a word' I argue back.</p><p>'I'm having an internal argument with myself this is absolutely ridiculous!' I punch the grass in frustration.</p><p>'If Harry really cared about you, he would come find you' I think. I pull my legs up to hug them to my chest and i quietly begin to cry.</p><p>"I love you Harry, don't you see you idiot! I love you!"</p><p>"You do?"</p><p>I look up and see Harry standing over me. His eyes full of tears threatening to overflow and his face is covered in streak marks from previous tears. His long hair is tousled and his skin Is ghostly white. His lips are red and swollen from where he'd obviously been biting them. He looks beautiful.</p><p>"You love me?"</p><p>I tear my eyes away from Harry's plump lips and look into his eyes. I weakly nod my head. "Yeah" I whisper, there's no point in hiding it now.</p><p>"I love you too"</p><p>"Wait, What, seriously?" I say in shock.</p><p>"Yeah" Harry says with a grin, mimicking me.</p><p>"Your not joking?" I hold my breath, hoping that it isn't.</p><p>"Not a joke love" harry says with a giggle.</p><p>He crouches down next to me and brushes my fringe away from my eyes. He looks at me with questioning eyes and mine silently agree.</p><p>We both lean in, and I can almost feel his lips against mine, but suddenly he's pulling away and looking at me with sad eyes.</p><p>"No, we can't do this" Harry whispers. A single tear running down his cheek.</p><p>"I can't do this"</p>
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<a name="section0040"><h2>40. It Is What It Is Chapter 39</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*Previously*</p><p>***********</p><p> </p><p>Louis' POV</p><p>***********</p><p>"I love you too"</p><p>"Wait, What, seriously?" I say in shock.</p><p>"Yeah" Harry says with a grin, mimicking me.</p><p>"Your not joking?" I hold my breath, hoping that it isn't.</p><p>"Not a joke love" harry says with a giggle.</p><p>He crouches down next to me and brushes my fringe away from my eyes. He looks at me with questioning eyes and mine silently agree.</p><p>We both lean in, and I can almost feel his lips against mine, but suddenly he's pulling away and looking at me with sad eyes.</p><p>"No, we can't do this" Harry whispers. A single tear running down his cheek.</p><p>"I can't do this"</p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p>Louis' POV</p><p>***********</p><p> </p><p>What do u mean, you can't do this, You can't do what? I ask fiercely.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I just can't this" He gestures between us both "us " Harry mumbles. He's trying to shut down again. But this time I won't let him</p><p>"No. You listen to me Harry Edward Styles. You are being selfish" I say, folding my arms over my chest in a fierce manner.</p><p>Harry looks at me in shock. I'm never that direct, not with him. He looks to the ground in guilt, refusing to meet my eyes.</p><p>I look him straight in the eyes and what I see behind them is a storm. I take a deep breath before continuing, "You are being selfish and only thinking of yourself and what you want. But there are two of us here Harry. This involves BOTH of us, You and me. And when something involves me I want to know what happening I don't like not knowing, I don't like being left in the dark and I don't think I deserve to be either. Each and every time something happened I was there for you, I was by your side and I never said a word when you asked me not to. I stood by you because I loved you and I wanted to make you happy. I still love you. But now I'm not going to allow you to keep important things from me just because you don't want to hurt me, and don't try and deny that that's the reason because I heard you and Zayn talking. He feels awful you know. He feels powerless and unimportant because you won't let him in, and he's too much of a coward to stand up to you. But not me. I will sit here for an eternity until you explain everything, and if you don't? Well then I can't be with someone who is not honest and open with me. I can't be with someone who won't communicate their feelings. Now Harry, I'm giving you the chance to tell me everything. I mean it. Everything. And I'm gonna sit here and I'm gonna listen to what you have to say. Your friends may be Okay with standing by while you suffer but I am not. If you love me like you say you will be honest with me and I will be honest with you. And if you don't, I will walk away right now and never contact you again because you obviously don't trust me enough to be honest with me, and i can't be with someone who doesn't trust me.  It's up to You. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere as long as you want me to stay here" I breath out heavily, scared of what Harry's answer may be. I see Him looking at me with tear filled eyes.</p><p>"OK" Harry says after a brief moment of silence "OK, I'll tell you, but you should probably sit down"</p>
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<a name="section0041"><h2>41. It Is What It Is Chapter 40</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N So I'm gonna stick with Louis' POV again for this Chapter because the next few chapters are all gonna be Harry's POV. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you Enjoy! </p><p> *~A~*</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously</p><p>***********</p><p>"And I'm gonna sit here and I'm gonna listen to what you have to say. Your friends may be ok with standing by while you suffer but I am not. If you love me like you say you will be honest with me and I will be honest with you. And if you don't, I will walk away right now and never contact you again because you obviously don't trust me enough to be honest with me. And i can't be with someone who doesn't trust me. It's up to You. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere as long as you want me to stay here" I breath out heavily, scared of what Harry's answer may be. I see Him looking at me with tear filled eyes.</p><p>"OK" Harry says after a brief moment of silence "OK, I'll tell you, but you should probably sit down"</p><p>***********</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Louis POV</p><p>***********</p><p> </p><p>*FLASHBACK*</p><p>2 Days earlier</p><p>Zayn and I are sitting on the couch smoking a Joint.</p><p>All that can be heard is the distinct ticking of the metal clock that rests above the fire. But The silence is comfortable and I have no problem sitting through it for a few more minutes until Harry gets back. The lush feeling of anxiety leaves my body as I draw in a breath exhaling and feeling myself go limp against the couch.</p><p>Everything seems to be moving a little slower than usual which enables me to really see things. The world appears as if it is a bunch of photos placed a fraction of a second apart, and I feel as if my breathing has slowed down. I find that this is an excellent time to listen to some music as the weed gives me a greater appreciation for it.</p><p>Rather than merely hearing sound, I am experiencing the song; every drum beat and guitar string sends a message and resonates deeply. By now, the euphoria has set in and I feel incredible. After what seems like five minutes, I glance down at the reading on my phone which is playing the music, and only 30 seconds have passed! Time doesn't seem linear when you're high.</p><p>I glance at the clock and see that in fact I've been waiting for Harry for over an Hour.</p><p>"Zayn, Where's Harry?" I ask, slightly groggy, This was my 4nd joint in the space of a few hours and I'm not the most tolerant when it comes to weed. I can get completely and utterly high as a bloody kite after only a few rolls, Harry says I'm the cutest when I get high because I always look for cuddles.</p><p>"Um, I have no clue mate, I ain't seen him since yesterday, I told him not to go" Zayn replies and I know he's utterly fucked by the way he says mate like its genuine. Zayn and I are far from what you would consider 'mates'.</p><p>"I should've stopped him" Zayn says, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in his hands.</p><p>"Zayn, you're a good friend to him, he cares about you a lot" And I know I'm telling the truth, Harry says all the time how they are like brothers.</p><p>"No, no" Zayn's voice breaks and I snap my head up to meet his gaze, there's tears in his eyes.</p><p>"Why, what do you mean?"</p><p>"If I was a good friend, I wouldn't have watched him suffer. I may have picked up the pieces, cleaned the cuts, took him to the hospital, but I never did a thing to stop it from happening. I never questioned him once. I didn't want to seem nosey. I blame myself every day because, I let my best friend down. I sat back and watched those awful things happen to him when I could have been stopping them. He was always there for me, always listened. I always said I would be there for him but wasn't there when he needed me most and I will never forgive myself. Nobody was there for him for that matter, not even you, were we there When he sat on her bathroom floor holding a razor blade above his beautiful wrist? No. When he was beaten to a pulp? No. When he was being------" Zayn lets out a sigh of frustration but doesn't finish that particular sentence. He takes a deep breath and continues, "Or even when he just needed someone to talk to? No. Because everyone was too caught up in themselves to even notice. So yes, I was an awful friend to Harry whether he agrees or not, but I wasn't the only one."</p><p>I'm about to say something but that's when the door opens and harry walks through looking breathtaking as always. I share a look with Zayn and get up to greet Harry.</p>
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<a name="section0042"><h2>42. It Is What It Is Chapter 41</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N TRIGGER WARNING! This chapter contains vivid descriptions of Overdose and talks of previous drug abuse, If you are upset by any of the above, PLEASE DO NOT READ! The next chapter will be up on Friday. As always thank you for reading. :)</p><p> *~A~*</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*Previously*</p><p>***********</p><p> </p><p>Louis' POV</p><p>***********</p><p>"Or even when he just needed someone to talk to? No. Because everyone was too caught up in themselves to even notice. So yes, I was an awful friend to Harry whether he agrees or not, but I wasn't the only one."</p><p>I'm about to say something but that's when the door opens and harry walks through looking breathtaking as always. I share a look with Zayn and get up to greet Harry. </p><p>***********</p><p> </p><p>Zayn's POV</p><p>***********</p><p> </p><p>*Flashback*<br/>2 Years ago.</p><p> </p><p>"HARRY"</p><p>"HARRY MATE WHERE ARE YOU?"</p><p>"HAZZA"</p><p>"Hi Zayn, Harry went outside to meet with someone" My sister Saafa says, she's sitting on the couch reading 'Emma' by Jane Austin, her favorite at the moment.</p><p>I feel my stomach drop, my throat closing around a breath I tried to take. I took a steadying moment to calm my heart rate before I spoke again. "Tell me what the guy looked like?</p><p>Saafa furrowed her brows together. "He was really skinny, like, abnormally skinny. Black hair, quiff–"</p><p>"Fuck!" I said, turning on my heels and sprinting towards the rooms. "No, no, no," I repeated as I ran. I could hear Saafa get up and start chasing after me, trying to keep up as I went, running through the hallways like a lunatic.</p><p>"Z, what's going on?" Saafa asked from behind me, right on my heels.</p><p>"Fuck, no, Haz, no, no, no."</p><p>I finally reached the attic and threw the door open.</p><p>I cough was heard in the corner, and I ran. After bursting through the door, I felt vomit rise in my throat.</p><p>My eyes landed on the white t-shirt that rested on the ground next to rug. I followed the trail up to the counter, where a silver spoon, the lighter I got harry for his 14th birthday and a small syringe were carefully placed in order. A low whine brought my attention over to the corner of the small room, where Harry sat, skin turning blue and jaw slackened, laying against the wall.</p><p>My body reacted in slow motion, moving to the tub to grab him and shake his limp body. "No, no," I repeated, slapping his cheek once, twice, and then a third time. "Wake up," I whispered, using my thumb to lift his eyelid, producing an extremely dilated pupil. I reached down and picked up Harry's arm to find a knowing track mark in the bend of his elbow. I pressed two fingers against the his neck to check for a pulse, only finding a weak excuse for such.</p><p>"Z? Where are you?" a voice called from the room.</p><p>At once, I lost all little power I had, crying violently. "Call an ambulance!" I screamed to no one in particular. "Fuck, call someone!" I shook at Harry's body again, before the she fluttered her eyes and coughed roughly, frothy fluid being expelled from her mouth. "Come on, Hazza, come on."</p><p>There were hands on my shoulders trying to pull him away from the me, but I shrugged the hands away and pulled his body from the wall and onto the floor of the bedroom. I placed him between my legs and rocked back and forth, sickening sobs coming from my mouth. The only thing I focused on was the shallow breathes escaping from Harry's mouth.</p><p>It felt like hours sitting on the floor holding him, checking Harry's pulse every three seconds. It felt like hours as I prayed to a god that I don't even believe in to save him. It felt like hours before a gruff looking man pulled him from my grasp to put him on a stretcher, wheeling him out of the room while two other men checked vitals and slipping a breathing mask over Harry's beautiful face. It felt like hours of me screaming at the men to let me come with him to the hospital.</p><p>It felt like so much pain had been condensed into one person and filled to the brim with white-hot fire, being caught by a lit match.</p>
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<a name="section0043"><h2>43. It Is What It Is Chapter 42</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N Oh my god I bawled my eyes out writing this chapter, and I'm so happy to be finally posting this for you all. There will be a few more chapters after this and I hope to have them up as soon as possible. Thank you so much for reading and I really hope you enjoy this chapter!!!</p><p>*~A~*</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry's POV</p><p>****************</p><p>"Do you ever feel trapped? Like your swimming in the big vast ocean and the more you struggle, the more you fight back, the more tired you become, and after a while You lose the will to fight back. So you stop struggling, you stop trying to get free because you don't have anything left that's worth fighting for"</p><p>I look up and meet Louis' eyes. He's listening intently, hanging on my every word. I can practically see the gears turning inside his head.</p><p>"I'm so, so tired of fighting Lou. I'm tired of swimming and swimming, trying to get to the surface, just for a breath of fresh air, and then falling right back down again to the dark sea floor. But then I meet people like you and suddenly I'm flying. Soaring so high I can't see where I'm going, and of course like Newton once said, what goes up, must come back down again. But then there are also people like Nick"</p><p>"Does he make you feel like you're flying?" Louis interrupts, he looks agitated at the very mention of Nicks name.</p><p>"No" I continue "Nick is different. He makes me feel like I'm floating. Just above the water, gasping for air, but not high enough to be flying, and oh If I could fly, I'd go as far away as i could from that bastard" I shake my head and wipe away a few tears that have decided to betray me.</p><p>"With Nick I'm floating, barely surviving, lying there, powerless, unable to struggle, because if I do, even the slightest bit, he will drown me. He controls me, he owns me"</p><p>"I don't understand" Louis says, "How can he control you?"</p><p>"G-Gemma." i say before stopping to take a deep breath. I had never said these words out loud before and i was terrified. But this was Louis I had nothing to be scared of. "We were driving to the hospital, because she was having the baby." I let out a shaky sigh as I hear Louis gasp.</p><p>"She was pregnant?!" He whispers, a shocked expression on his beautiful face.</p><p>"8 1/2 months pregnant. She went early. We were driving down the motorway on our way to the hospital, Mum was driving. We were going a bit too fast. A car pulled out in front of us, Mum hit on the breaks to slow down, and they didn't work. We swerved to avoid hitting them and we spiraled off the road and into a tree. Mum died instantly. Gemma was still alive but her legs were crushed and she was losing blood. I was pretty cut up but nothing was broken. I called an ambulance, climbed in the front and Gemma had the baby. She told me to go and take her with me, told me she could hear sirens and the ambulance would need help finding us. I took the baby and tried to climb the hill. When I got to the top there was no ambulance, and then--" I stop talking, my mind flashing with images of the blood and Gemma's beautiful face looking so broken. I find my vision blurring and I feel faint.</p><p>"Its OK love, Its OK" Louis soothes. I'm now lying in the grass in his arms while he strokes my hair from my eyes, whispering in my hair it's going to be OK. "You don't have to tell me love, I'm so proud of you" I shake my head and move over so I'm face to face with him, looking in his eyes.</p><p>"No, you're right, you deserve the truth" He raises an eyebrow, checking that I am sure and I nod again.</p><p>"The engine blew. Gemma knew what was going to happen. She told me to go with the baby, she said to look after her. I thought she was being delirious from blood loss, i didn't think it would be last time we said goodbye." another tear slid down my cheek and Louis wiped it away with the pad of his thumb sweetly, it was almost as if his touch made me stronger. " I agreed and gave her a kiss on the cheek before I broke the window and hopped through. She saved both our lives. The ambulance came and we arrived at the hospital with 2 less people than we had left the house with. I woke up a day later in hospital. The only person who visited me was Zayn. I got out a few weeks later and that's when Nick showed up. See, Nick and Gemma were Together--" Louis gasps but I continue "Nick cheated on her a week before the baby was born and she dumped his sorry ass, he begged her to take him back but she said no and I'm guessing you know already that Nick does not take kindly to being told no."</p><p>"Wait. Gemma was having Nicks baby?!" Louis says. I look up and see a horrified expression spread across his beautiful face.</p><p>"Yeah." I answer.</p><p>"But your sleeping with him! How can you---- Why?"</p><p>"All of this is my fault you see. None of this would ever have happened if it weren't for my stupidity"</p><p>"What do you mean, Please don't tell me you're the one Nick cheated on" Louis looks like he's having a hard time comprehending what I'm saying.</p><p>"Oh god no. I love Gemma. I would never do that"</p><p>Relief floods Louis' features but he still looks confused. "How is any of this you fault then"</p><p>"I was coming home, High out of my mind as usual, it was like maybe 1 or 2 in the morning. I walked up the driveway and I saw someone under the car. It was Nick. I was too out of it and too angry by the fact he had the nerve to show up after what he did to Gemma to question why he was under our car. I yelled at him and he left. But if I hadn't been so bloody high. That's why I don't do meth. I did meth that night. Fist and last time trying it. I had no idea how strong it was or the effects, I knew nothing!  If I had been more with it—I could've saved them"</p><p>"Harry you did everything you could. Its not your fault" Louis says softly. He reaches out to me, but I shrug him off.</p><p>"What do you mean? Of course, it's my bloody fault. I was out with a bunch of people. I was the one who chose to get high"</p><p>"Well, who were you out with that night?" Louis asks.</p><p>I look to Louis in confusion before Something clicks and realization finally dawns on me.</p><p>"Oh. My. Bloody. God." I shake my head.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>I shake my head and put my head between my knees, trying to steady my breathing.</p><p>"Harry?"</p><p>"I was out with his customers. Nick's customers. They had just gotten a bunch of free meth off him. But they wouldn't tell me why. I left it. I didn't care. It was free drugs, who was I to question it. He wanted me out of the house. He knew I never slept. He knew I would say yes without hesitation, because I was a stupid addict with chronic insomnia. He set me up. He set this all up. Wait that means--"</p><p>I gasp. "I'm free."</p><p>"Free from what?"</p><p>"Nick told me It was my fault for not stopping him. That I had nothing left to lose. He said if I told the cops about the breaks he would deny it down to the ground and that the people I was with would back him up because they needed a quick fix and they couldn't get it that cheap from anyone else. 'We love our users, they reward us by staying users' he said. I agreed to work for him in return for a small amount of money. Eventually the favors turned sexual, but I didn't care. I was saving for something big after all, something well worth it"</p><p>"What were you saving for?" Louis asks and I can see the fear in his eyes. He's afraid of what I'm about to say.</p><p>"I'm saving for Olivia to go to college like Gemma wanted" I close my eyes and wait for Louis to start yelling or something.</p><p>"Olivia- wait! The baby survived?!" Louis asks astonished.</p><p>"The toddler You mean" I smile fondly.</p><p>"Oh Harry" Louis says as he starts crying hysterically.</p><p>I seize up at first unsure whether or not he is upset or happy, but when he nuzzles his nose into the crook of my neck and lets out a satisfied sigh, I sink into the hug and allow myself to be engulfed within his embrace. We sit there for I don't know how long before Louis lifts his head to look at me and says</p><p>"Can I kiss you now?"</p><p>I nod and he wraps his arms around my neck and as our lips meet I feel a thousand fireworks go off around us. </p><p>Only this time I'm not afraid of the flames.</p>
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<a name="section0044"><h2>44. It Is What It Is Chapter 43</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning mature content and mentions of self harm.<br/>DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERED!!<br/>I will give another warning closer to the time in which this is mentioned.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry's POV</p><p>******************</p><p>Louis breaks away from the kiss and looks up at me with innocent eyes and I instantly feel the loss of warmth. His hair is messed up, his cheeks are rosy and his lips are puffy and swollen.</p><p>I don't think he's ever looked more stunning.</p><p>"Harry" He says with a longing in his voice "Please" and I'm nodding and getting up before he even has the chance to finish his sentence. We've already wasted so much time, I don't plan on wasting anymore.</p><p>I pull him up into a standing position and grab his hand, dragging him towards the gate of the park, stealing quick kisses as we stumble towards the exit.</p><p>"My house" Louis growls and who am I to argue?</p><p>5 minutes later we're stumbling in the front door of Louis' house and I'm being dragged harshly up the stairs to his room.</p><p>We fall onto his bed with such force we bounce for a moment. Louis giggles and I swear my heart swells to twice its already enlarged size with pure love and adoration for the man lying beneath me. I lean down and press a delicate kiss to his lips and Louis groans, grinding against my hip. I move his leg so I'm straddling Louis' thighs looking down at him with a grin.</p><p>"Are you sure you wanna do this love, It's your first time" I ask, just to be sure this isn't just a spur of the moment thing. Louis nods eagerly and I smile before leaning down to plant a kiss to his neck.</p><p>I pin Louis down on the bed, moving him up so he could lean his back against the pillow, while Louis ran his hands underneath my shirt, tracing his fingers up and down my back. The sounds of our heavy breathing filled the room, I grip Louis' waist under his shirt, lightly digging my nails into his soft skin. This caused him to push his lips against mine harder, I softly slip my tongue into his mouth. His eyes open for a moment, shocked with my newfound confidence, before once again sinking back into the kiss.</p><p> </p><p>Louis' POV</p><p>******************</p><p>Harry breaks the kiss, to placing his lips on my neck, gently sucking and nipping at the soft spot along my collarbone. Harry lets out a heavy, warm breath, as he makes his way down lower, stretching the fabric of my shirt as he does. Harry hums, smiling against my neck, as he continues to leave small marks against my tanned skin.</p><p>He pulls me into a gentle kiss, as he grabs onto my hips, and pulling them down towards the end of the bed. He let go of me, spreading my legs more open, and kneeling in front of them. I gulp as he pulls off my jeans, This isn't the first time Harry and I have done this, But this time is different, this time we are taking it a step further.</p><p>Harry pulls off his own jeans too, hoping it would make me more comfortable. He looks back at me in nothing but his underwear, damp curls sticking to his forehead just above his bright, dramatic eyes. This only made me hornier, longing for his touch.</p><p>"Oh god..." I mumble, leaning back.</p><p>"W-What? Am I moving too fast?" Harry asks nervous, looking nervous.</p><p>"No... you just..." I pause, smiling up at him. "You drive me crazy." A smug expression takes over Harry's features and I bite back the urge to moan.</p><p>Harry slowly slides my light blue panties down my legs, spreading them open to grant him better access. I close my eyes and wait for the contact I've been longing for ever since I saw him stumble through that door earlier, I wait a moment before opening my eyes to see Harry simply looking at me. Taking me in. Admiring me with adoring eyes. Its such an intimate stare I find myself blushing and looking down at my lap. Harry lifts my chin and our eyes meet.</p><p>"I love you" He whispers.</p><p>We are completely alone in the house. My mum, the girls and Earnest all being away for the weekend at Marks house, but we still feel the urge to whisper, like if we talk too loud the spell will be broken. The moment will be lost. The time will run out.</p><p>"I love you too" I whisper back.</p><p>Harry nods and I hear him shuffle a bit, getting a packet of lube and a condom from his jean pocket. He gently pushes me back, so I'm Lying flat against the bed, Harry's hand on my chest. We are both breathing fast, my hearts racing and I feel a burning anticipation for what's about to happen.</p><p>Harry takes my dick in his hand and slowly brings it to his lips, He licks the base and works his way up, taking his time and working his way up and down, causing me to moan breathless. He does this a few times, before taking me further in the mouth, moving up and down, increasing his speed until My dick hits the back of his throat.</p><p>"Harry..." I moan. "I-I'm close, mm..." But he doesn't stop. " I-I'm about to..." I whine as Harry pulls off, moving towards me to plant a kiss on my lips once more before I hear the ripping of the lube packet.</p><p>"Just tell me, how you feel babes." Harry whispers so softly it sends chills down my back, and I can't help but groan when I feel Harry slide a second finger in. "God, It feels so good." I moan, grabbing at his shirt for support.</p><p>I almost lose it with Harry does something amazing with those artistic fingers of his, and thrusts up a little, hitting just the right spot. "Fuuck!" I moan, and the way Harry curses under his breath a quick "Shit Lou" turns me on much more than it should. I can feel Harry's jaw against my neck, kissing the sensitive areas, while I try desperately not to come too early.</p><p>"You think you're ready to take my cock now?" Somehow, Harry manages to make the question sound so innocent.</p><p>"Mmm yes please. " I whimper, and immediately, Harry removes his hands, unzipping his fly and looking up at me as if to make sure I didn't want to back out. I took a deep breath. I was terrified, but I was more than ready.</p><p>"Are you sure--"</p><p>"Just kiss me you fool" I giggle.</p><p>"You want me to fuck you? Fuck you hard and good yeah?" Harry nods tracing circles on the inside of my thigh.</p><p>I nod my head back and moan filthily.</p><p>"Use your words, babes."</p><p>"Yes, Harry, please. I need you to fuck me. Please, Harry... please."</p><p>I grab the waistband of Harry's underwear and pull them down until his large member sprang free. I shiver when I see it, My whole body trembling for a second before I compose Myself, and take him into my hand. Harry was perfect.</p><p>I look up and see Harry watching me intently, breathing deeply.</p><p>"Your perfect" I whisper.</p><p>"Your the perfect one Lou" he says with a grin</p><p>I take the condom and that's laying on the bed beside us and rip it open with my teeth. I place it between my lips and bring Harry's dick to meet them, before I roll the condom on using my mouth, taking his member into my mouth inch by inch until I've reached the base. Harry inhales sharply and l leans back so he's resting on his elbows watching me. I pull off and look at him with innocent eyes and he's pushing me ack against the bed harshly.</p><p>"Please Harry" I whisper and he's lining himself up with my entrance.</p><p>He looks into my eyes for confirmation one last time and I nod. He presses a kiss to my forehead as he pushes in, and everything seems to stop. All I can feel is Harry. The way his curls tickle my face, his muscular thighs rubbing against mine, his ragged breaths as he slowly inches his way deeper inside me. I knew Harry was bug, but feeling him like this makes it so much more surreal.</p><p>I feel like all the breath has been knocked out of me. I let out a sound that is a mix between a gasp and a sob. Harry bottoms out moments later and presses a kiss to my sweaty forehead. I feel so full, so complete.</p><p>"This ok baby?" Harry rasps </p><p>"Y-yes fuckk Harrryy" I manage to get out in between pants</p><p>"Fuck Louis say my name again" he growls and i can see the lust in his eyes.</p><p>"Mmmmm Harryy"  I say emphasizing his name and as soon as I his name leaves my lips  Harry loses it. </p><p>He's thrusting into me over and over and I'm barley able to catch my breath. </p><p>After a few more thrusts Harry hits a spot deep within me. So deep I can feel electric currents rush through my entire body, causing my toes to curl and my hips to jerk forward.</p><p>He quickens his pace, thrusting in deep and pulling out almost completely each time, nailing my sweet spot dead on each time. All the while whispering words of encouragement in my ear.</p><p>"I need to cum, please Harry" </p><p>"Cum for me Louis" he says locking eyes with me.</p><p>I come with a yell, legs shaking, hips pressing flush against Harrys, Biting my lip so Hard i can taste blood, head thrown back in pure bliss and a few thrusts later Harrys moaning my name and releasing into the condom.</p><p>It takes me what feels like ages to calm down. I feel like every ounce of energy has been drained from my body. My muscles are strained and my vision is blurred. </p><p>Harry rolls off me and lies down beside me. Our breathing is ragged. I glance at Harry and see his eyes are closed, mouth slightly agape, breathing deeply. His curls are tousled and his bare chest is rising and falling with every breath he takes. He's never been more beautiful.</p><p>"Wow" Harry says opening his eyes and turning to me.</p><p>"Wow is right" I say with a smile.</p><p>He kisses me on the cheek and gets up and disappears out the door, presumably to the bathroom but I'm too wrecked to look up. I hear the tap running and I presume Harry's cleaning himself off. He come back a after a few minutes with a damp wash cloth in his hand and starts to clean me off.</p><p>"Mm, I should get up a shower" I mumble.</p><p>"Lou" Harry says shaking his head with a laugh "You can't even get up"</p><p>I find the energy to lift my head and look down to see my legs are lax, still spread wide and my stomach covered in dried come. I blush as I see Harry looking too.</p><p>"Eyes up here" I say and Harry bursts out laughing, before he continues cleaning me up.</p><p>I start to feel my strength come back and I find myself watching Harry as he cleans me up. Eyebrows furrowed deep in concentration. I look at Harry and realise he's still naked, I take some time to simply admire the beautiful man in front of me. Harry finished cleaning me off and places the washcloth in the basin beside my bed before climbing back to bed.</p><p> WARNING MENTIONS OF SELF HARM AHEAD. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERED!</p><p> </p><p>Its then I notice them.</p><p>The lines and lines of angry looking scars littering the inside of his thighs, some look like they've only recently healed, and my heart breaks into a million pieces. I gasp and Harry's head snaps up, his gaze following mine and his eyes widening when he sees what I'm gasping at.</p><p>"W-Why?" I ask brokenly, tears pooling in my eyes.</p><p>"Have you ever done something bad and it hurts the people you love, and you promise you'll never do it again?" I nod and he continue " The thing is, for me, I can't promise i won't ever do it again because it could happen again, and it more than likely will, and I can't help it because that's just how my brain works. It tells me to do these things and i do them because i feel i deserve them and each time i feel the pain it consoles me in a way nothing and no one else ever could, It makes me feel alive and it makes it easier to cope with the numb i guess " he says with tears brimming in my own eyes threatening to spill "But not anymore, you make me feel Louis, you make me feel alive"</p><p>"Oh Harry I love you so so much" i whisper as I wrap my arms around him tightly, hugging to my chest. "Promise me you will fight the urge next time, I'm not asking you to stop, I know it's not that easy. But please try for me"</p><p>"I promise Lou" Harry whispers, and I feel him relax against my chest. I love that I have that effect on him. That I have the power to soothe him like that.</p><p>"Thank you" I whisper and we lock eyes for a moment. I feel something shift between us and everything finally seems clear.</p><p>"Night Lou" He says with a smile, moving over to spoon me. I know Harry loves to little spoon and I'm flattered he is letting me little spoon.</p><p>"Night boyfriend" I say with a wink and I giggle as I see Harry's shocked expression.</p><p>"Night boyfriend" He replies once he realizes I'm not joking.</p><p>Ad we both Fall asleep with a smiles on our faces.</p>
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<a name="section0045"><h2>45. It Is What It Is Chapter 44</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Louis' POV</p><p>*************</p><p>It started just like any other day, with the sun rising. </p><p>Whenever anything extraordinary happens to anyone, they've always started that day with the sun peeking through their curtains and the weight of the day that awaits heavy on their sleep clouded minds.</p><p>Whether it's a near-death experience or meeting the person you want to spend the rest of your life with – it all starts with the sun rising, alarm clocks ringing and getting out from under the covers.</p><p>So dull. So ordinary. </p><p>The day my life changed was no different.</p><p> </p><p>I lay in my single bed, legs tangled in the duvet, looking at the beam of light sneaking between my curtains and casting itself upon my legs.</p><p>Only this time I'm not alone. </p><p>I glance to my left and see Harry looking at me smiling.</p><p>"You know, it's weird to stare at people while their asleep." I tease.</p><p>"You know, it's hard not to stare when my boyfriend is the most gorgeous human on the planet" Harry quips.</p><p>I blush and try to turn away from him, but he gently tugs at my jaw, forcing me to look at him.</p><p>"I love you" He says.</p><p>"I love you too, and I promise, we are gonna sort this Nick thing out. You won't ever have to worry about him ever again. I promise you that as long as you let me, I will love you"</p><p>Harry has tears in his eyes when I finally look up, and he pulls me into a passionate kiss. Things get steamy fast as soon I'm moaning as Harry grinds against me slow and teasing.</p><p>"Morning Lou Mum says breakfast read------ EWWWWWW"</p><p>Harry and I break apart instantly and we look up to see Lottie looking at us with mischievous eyes.</p><p>"Wait till I tell mum" She giggles delighted with herself before she runs off downstairs screaming "MUMMMMMMMMMM"</p><p> </p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>************</p><p>"Oh shit!" Louis exclaims, throwing the blankets from his body and rushing to get dressed.</p><p>"Lou, calm down love. Your mum is gonna find out sooner or later, and this isn't the first time she's caught us in bed together either."</p><p>"I know but I feel like everyone knows about last night"</p><p>I get up and stroll across the room, stopping in front of Louis and taking his tiny hands in mine.</p><p>"They only people who know about last night is us, and it will stay that way unless you choose to tell anyone, because you can be assured I won't be telling anyone, this is too special for me to tell anyone."</p><p>Louis lets out a breath I didn't know he was holding and I see his shoulders relax. "Your right"</p><p>"I mean unless you walk funny" I answer with a wink to which Louis smacks my arm playfully and rolls his eyes.</p><p>"We better get dressed though, I wanna go on a walk later, we have a lot to talk about"</p><p>Louis giggles "We do indeed Mr. Styles"</p><p>***********************************************</p><p>20 minutes later, Louis and I are sitting at the breakfast table stuffing our faces with blueberry pancakes.</p><p>No one said a word about what happened earlier and Louis is completely relaxed. I find myself staring at him as he chats with his siblings, occasionally making a funny face to amuse Earnest or Doris. I'm completely captivated by his soft voice, his bright blue eyes, his mousy brown hair that he sweeps across his forehead whenever it gets in his eyes. I love every little thing about him.</p><p>I feel someone watching me and I look up to see Jay smiling fondly at me a knowing look on her face. I nod to her offering a small smile before I turn back around and stare down at my food embarrassed at being caught, Jay must think I'm a right weirdo staring at her son like he was my oxygen supply or something.</p><p>I feel Louis' hand on my thigh under the table and I whip my head around to look at him, surprised at the sudden contact. Louis raises an eyebrow at me and I shake my head going back to what I was doing. I feel his hand move higher and higher until---- "Um thank you for breakfast Jay! It was wonderful" I say flustered and shooting Louis a quick but effective 'I'm gonna kill you' look.</p><p>"Yeah thanks mum, the pancakes were amazing" Louis says and I can hear the smugness in his voice.</p><p>"Glad you both enjoyed it"</p><p>Louis and I turn to leave but Jay grabs my arm and tugs me back. Louis and I look at each other with a mixture of fear and confusion.</p><p>"Um yes?" Louis asks.</p><p>"Take care of each other won't you" Jay says smiling.</p><p>"Yes of course, what do you mean" I question.</p><p>"You better not hurt Harry" She says turning to look at Louis "and You better not hurt Louis." She turns back to me. "You may not have your mum or sister to threaten your boyfriend over here, But you have me, and I promise you if Louis breaks your heart I will personally throttle him. You boys have to promise me you'll take care of each other" Jay smiles, tears brimming in her bright blue eyes that are almost identical to Louis'.</p><p>"We promise" Louis and I answer.</p><p>Louis walks to the door to grab our coats and I hang back a moment "Thank you, for everything. Your son makes me very happy" I say.</p><p>"And you make my son very happy, I can see" Jay answers.</p><p>I give her a quick hug and follow after Louis to the door. I grab his hand and we stroll down the street hand in hand, listening to the birds chirping and the wind blowing.</p><p>I feel almost completely at peace. There's only one question on my mind.</p><p>"Louis, why do you hate Nick"</p><p>Louis takes a deep breath and thinks for a moment, as if he's contemplating how to say it before he answers.</p><p>"He used to sell weed to Liam. We were alone one day and he told me I had to sell coke to one of his customers or he would tell everyone I was gay." I gasp and tighten my grip of Louis' hand, but he continues "I was terrified at first, but I realized I would've had to come out sooner or later and the people who really mattered already knew. So, I said no, and he proceeded to tell everyone. I hate him because he took something from me that was mine and only mine and he tried to use it against me. It turned out OK though, people were more or less accepting or just plain didn't care so it worked out in the end"</p><p>"Oh Lou, I'm so, so sorry love. You didn't deserve that. I just—UGH! I wish I could teach him a lesson."</p><p>"Harry, the only revenge you can ever get on someone like Nick is simply being happy. Happy for yourself and no one else. Living life to the full. Having someone you love and who loves you back. Being surrounded with people who care about you. Someone like Nick will never have that. People like him are not capable of loving anyone other than themselves. But your not like him. You are so much more, both of us are. Nick will never truly find happiness, but we will, because I have you, and you have me and that's all we will ever need to be happy"</p><p>I look at the beautiful human being standing in front of me and feel such an overwhelming sense of Love for him that I sweep him up and into my arms and give him the biggest hug ever. He hugs me back and I can't help but smile. Life's never going to be perfect or smooth sailing. But with Louis by my side, it sure seems a lot brighter.</p><p>"Can we go visit Olivia soon?" Louis asks after I put him down.</p><p>"Of course, love. I'm due to see her next weekend, you come if you like."</p><p>"What are you gonna do in the future, with Olivia I mean" Louis questions.</p><p>"Well as soon as I move out of that hell hole, the lovely lady who minds her says I can take her to live with me. I'm not planning on going to collage. I can mind her properly then and I'll be far, far away from Nick."</p><p>"I'm coming with you. Wherever you go I'll go too" Louis says looking determined.</p><p>"But what about your family?"</p><p>"I can always visit them. I want to be with you Harry. You and Olivia. I can't wait to meet her. I bet she's the image of you. Only if you want me too though" I love when Louis is like this. So dreamy and bubbly and happy. So excited for his future, our future.</p><p>"Lou, I'll want you here, right beside me, until the stars collide, the world stops turning, the song birds stop singing, till the day I take my final breath, I will always want you here. I know it won't be easy. I know we're young. I know we're gonna fight and argue and make mistakes. But I also know that we will stick together through all the hard times"</p><p>"I want that too" Louis whispers as he places a gentle kiss to my lips.</p><p> </p><p>Louis POV</p><p>**********</p><p>I have learnt a lot over the past few months. Some good, some bad. But there is one thing I that Harry thought me that i will never forget. People share advice with people all the time, and we never even think twice about it. People who have lived longer than us still don't find contentment.</p><p>But Here's the thing, Living is not easy. Loving someone is not easy. Trusting people is not easy.</p><p>Being a human being is not at all easy, and sometimes we question why we put ourselves through this torture every single day. We can lose sight of what's important. We can get so stuck in our own heads that we fail to see what's going on around us.</p><p>That's how you know you truly love someone.</p><p>When you stop wondering why you're still living, and you start wondering how you would live without the person you love.</p><p>If I could give you any piece of advice.</p><p>A piece of advice that I truly believe can change the way you look at things I would tell you:</p><p>Find yourself someone you can't imagine living a day without, don't settle for someone you can live with, find yourself someone you can't live without. If you are capable of loving another you deserve to be with someone who looks at you every single day like they have the whole world right before their eyes, like their world would stop turning if they didn't have you, and their smile would disappear for good.</p><p>But Most importantly choose life, because in the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take.</p><p>Life's shit sometimes, but, It Is What It Is ♥</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And that's it!!! I'm so sad its finished!! I can't actually tell you all how much you guys support means to me. Writing this has been my escape from so much and I feel like a completely different person has finished writing this book, than the one that started writing this book back in June.<br/>There is still the epilogue to go and I plan to write  a proper final authors note and do a list of all of the loyal people who have stuck to reading this story through every 2 week break, every mistake and every shitty chapter that I've written at an unholy hour of the morning. </p><p>Thank you everyone for being so supportive and I hope to have the epilogue up within the next 3 days ♥</p>
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<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>5 years later.</p><p>*************</p><p> </p><p>Harry's POV</p><p>*************</p><p>"DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYY!!!! CAN I GO TO JESSICA'S HOUSE??" Olivia screams from the top of the stairs.</p><p>She runs down the stairs and into the living room where I'm lying on the couch watching 'RuPaul's Drag Race' season 3 finale.</p><p>"Can I pleaseeeeeeee Daddy? Pretty please with cherries and whipped cream on top?" I reach for the remote and pause the TV, before I sweep my beautiful 7 year old niece into my arms.</p><p>"Well you know I'm not the boss around here you little monster! Why don't you go ask papa?" I say as I tickle under her arms and chin, causing her to squeal and squirm, struggling to get free from my grip.</p><p>"NOOOO!!! You know -hahahha -That - Papa - will- s-say - n-no!!" she manages to get out between giggles.</p><p>"What will I say no to?" Louis appears in the doorway with Dusty in his arms. Clifford barks and runs over to greet him. Dusty loves me the best, but Clifford is like Louis' second child. We often have arguments over Louis loving Clifford more than me!!</p><p>"I wanna go to Jessica's house on Friday, can I please, please, please go Papa?" Olivia pleads giving Louis' the puppy dog eyes.</p><p>Louis looks up at me and our eyes meet. I see the love in them and my heart automatically speeds up when those blue eyes meet mine. Even after 5 years of being with Louis almost everyday, I still get butterflies when he walks into the room.</p><p>"Hmmmm, I don't know. Have you got all your homework finished, and is your room neat and tidy?"</p><p>"Yup homework all done, Daddy checked it to make sure its neat and my room is amazingly tidy!" Her smile falters slightly on the word 'Tidy'.</p><p>"Will it still be tidy if I go up there right now and check for myself?" Louis says with an amused look on his face, folding his arms over his chest.</p><p>"Uhhhhh... Lemme check that Pinkie the bear didn't mess it up while she was having a tea party earlier. I'll be right back" Olivia says as she scampers up the stairs in record speed and Louis and I hear the rapid footsteps in her room while she desperately tries to clean up 'Pinkie the bears' mess.</p><p>Louis looks at me again and we crack up laughing.</p><p>"She's just like you, can't keep the place tidy to save her life!" I say between laughs.</p><p>"Oi Styles don't get cheeky with me" Louis sasses.</p><p>"You'll have to make me then" I say with a wink.</p><p>Louis is about to retort when suddenly Olivia is running back down the stairs like she's being chased.</p><p>"I've checked and Pinkie bear made no mess. The place is spotless!" she says slightly breathless from all that running.</p><p>"OK then, I'll text Perrie and ask if you can go visit Jessica on Friday, Zayn will have to drop you home though, since our cars still broken" Louis says looking at me with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>I was meant to get the car fixed last week but I forgot.</p><p>'Sorry' I mouth to Louis and he shakes his head with a smile.</p><p>Olivia jumps in the air and runs to hug Louis. Wrapping her tiny arms around his small frame. He kneels down so he's eyes level with her and hugs her hard.</p><p>"I love you and Daddy more than anyone in the whole world" She whispers.</p><p>Louis looks like he's trying not to cry. "We love you more than anything in the world love, and that's never going to change. No matter how big and strong you become, Daddy and I will always love you just the same"</p><p>Olivia looks at me and gestures for me to come over. I wrap my arms around both Louis and Olivia and I finally feel at peace.</p><p>Louis was right, it all worked out in the end.</p><p>Louis and and I gathered evidence and Nick went on trial for pre meditated murder as well as possession and selling of illegal drugs and various counts of assault and blackmail. Louis stood right beside me in court that day as Nick was found guilty of all the charges brought against him and was sentenced to life in prison. We were awarded a large sum of money by the courts and used it to buy our own house in London and start up a bakery.</p><p>Louis and I got clean and a few months later we brought Olivia home for the first time.</p><p>Zayn and Perrie couldn't have children of their own and decided to adopt Jessica when she was 3, she had been fostered by the same lady, Mrs. Dunne, who took care of Olivia and Zayn and Perry are now engaged.</p><p>Liam and Danielle aren't together anymore and neither are Niall and Barbra but they are both happy in their jobs and doing really well, they bought an apartment together and are now roomies!</p><p>As for Jay, Her and Mark got married a few years ago and she couldn't be happier, constantly hinting Lou and I should get married next, but we've decided to wait till we're older. We are only 22 still.</p><p>The girls and Earnest are all doing well, Lottie having just graduate from secondary school and we still visit them all often.</p><p>Nothing could be more perfect.</p><p>I'm with the man I love, I have a beautiful daughter and amazing friends, there's nothing I could ever want for.</p><p>I look up and see Louis looking at me, as soon as our eyes meet, I know he's thinking the exact same thing as I am.</p><p>He reaches over and gives me a quick kiss, and I can feel the smile on his lips. He pulls away and all I can think is:</p><p>I have seen blossoming fields of flowers stretch to the horizon and ripple with the wind, swaths of starlight so bright they lit the night up like it was day, hidden meadows and tranquil glens and lakes so still the water is like glass. I've seen beautiful faces made captivating in flickering firelight, etched with laughter, dignified in ritual. I know beauty like I know air, like I know light; I live in it, grow it, create it. Before I met Louis, I had thought I'd seen everything that could possibly take my breath away. But he has the power to take my breath away with everything he does. Every touch, every smile, every laugh, every tear shed whether it be happy or sad. He takes my breath way by being him and I wouldn't change him for the world.</p><p> </p><p>"I love you Louis Tomlinson" I whisper in his ear, and I see the way his whole face lights up.</p><p>"And I love you Harry Styles" he whispers back.</p><p>And I'd be lying if I said that didn't cause my heart to skip a beat, but hey, </p><p>It Is What It Is right?</p>
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<a name="section0047"><h2>47. ♥ Final Authors Note ♥</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>So that is it! I cannot believe it’s over. I’ve been writing this story since June 2019 and its been one hell of a roller coaster. I never expected anyone to even find my story, never mind read it. This is my first ever completed book and it may not be the best but I am extremely proud of myself for finishing it. There were multiple times when I considered giving up on it. There were times I resented the fact that I had even started writing it because I had no idea what direction (No pun intended) I wanted to take it in. </p><p>I am so, so grateful to everyone who has read my book and stuck with it till the very end. I have no idea how or why you did but I am forever grateful. Without you guys I would have given up on this ages ago. I still remember the first time I got a vote on my story. It was the morning after I decided to stop writing the story and as soon as I saw it I felt almost a responsibility, like I had to keep writing now because I couldn’t leave someone with an unfinished book. I wouldn’t allow myself to become one of the many writers who give up and stop writing their book as soon as they lose a sense of direction on writing the plot.  </p><p>All I can say is that I gave it my best shot and I really hope you guys enjoyed it. Thank you guys again, and I’m sorry I keep saying that but you don’t understand how grateful I am. </p><p>So thank you, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!! </p><p>Love *~Autumn~* </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Here are just some of the people who have been here since nearly the beginning and who I really owe this whole book to, I’m sorry if I left you out as I am a dipshit 😂 but please if I forgot you, feel free to send me a message or comment or DM me @AutumnB52470669 and I will add you straight away: </p><p> </p><p>@tommo_2430 </p><p>@caseyy29 </p><p>@tommodstyles1d </p><p>@scedeno066 </p><p>@Jillian0202 </p><p>@user81095766 </p><p>@Liv_1407 </p><p>@euxilou </p><p>@sheallanes </p><p>@MSshelby </p><p>@Iciclett </p><p>@Honeyyouareart </p><p> </p><p>I will be starting a new Larry fic really soon so look out for that and I promise this time it will be longer and more planned out because I was not prepared for this to get as many reads as it did!!! </p><p>See you soon  </p><p>*~A~*</p>
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